Archive for the ‘Race’ Category

Tyler Perry Knows All About Stupid

Comedy show guy: Comedy! You already spent money on the plane ticket to come to this stupid place, you might as well have some fun while you're here. We have black people and fried shit. Ma'am, do you want to see a comedy show?
Large black woman: No.
Comedy show guy: Why not? Are you “different”?
Large black woman: No, I live here, so I already know everything is stupid. Including your show.
Comedy show guy:: Give me a hug. That was awesome.

–46th & Broadway

Overheard by: Wes

Wednesday One-Liners for Bernardo and the Sharks

Chica on cell: He was just white. Like, a white guy. Except Puerto Rican.

–Park Terrace West, Inwood

Overheard by: Gringo Starr

Puerto Rican thug to another, both wearing Puerto Rican flag bandanas as face masks: White people better get used to us. There be like 80 billion of us in the world… Or maybe 8 thousand of us…at least.

–F Train

Overheard by: Brent

Teen on cell: Wait, you're in Puerto Rico? I'll be right there, that's by Chinatown, right? What do you mean it's an island? Like Staten Island? How the fuck did you get there?

–Colombus Circle

Overheard by: Graham Davis

JAP on phone: He called me a clingy JAP! How fucking low! I could've easily pulled the "you're-a-Puerto-Rican-from-Staten-Island" card.

–92nd & 5th

Guy (shouting): Hey guys! You like Puerto Ricans?!

–Times Square

Overheard by: CytoFox

Dad on scooter with eight-year-old girl: I don't want to hear that… Don't fuckin' push me, Joanna! You are not black, you are Puerto Rican!

–Flatbush & Fulton

Overheard by: Chelsea

You’ve Got the Wrong Railroad for That, Ma’am

[After being asked for full fare.]
Ghetto woman
: No, ma’am! I do not have to pay! Did you forget about Abraham Lincoln in 1856, I mean 1865? He freed the slaves! Guess you forgot!

Assistant conductor: I still need the full fare, ma’am!
Ghetto woman: No, ma’am! I still don’t see my reparations! Where’s my check?!?! Where’s my 40 acres and a mule?!?!

–Metro North

Overheard by: Laughing Whitey

It’s Just You, Me, and the Guy with the Pen and Paper

White wife: The rabbi told me that most of the government officials there are currently African American…
White husband: Okay…
White wife: But that he’s going to be running for city council in the next election…
White husband: That’s good…
White wife: He said that lots of Southern towns now have African American city officials…
White husband: I know…
White wife: But that even though the town is majority African American, it has a good chance of coming back.
White husband: Honey?
White wife: Yes?
White husband: It’s just us here. You don’t have to keep saying ‘African American.’ You can say ‘schvartze.’

–Actor’s Temple, W 47th St

Overheard by: Big Larry