Young Woman: Are you part Italian?
Older Woman: I’m Italian by injection!
–Private party, NYC
Archive for the ‘Race’ Category
Classified by Race
Yuppie #1: “I never put my race down on those forms. Why should I be
classified by race?”
Yuppie #2: “I feel the same way about putting my height down on my driver’s
license.”
Racist to English Dictionary
Customer: I rescue cats in the Bronx.
Shopgirl: You know sometimes poor families with children that aren’t taught well don’t know how to treat animals. I wish there was something that could be done about them. You know it’s not fair for the animals if they get placed into a bad home like that. If they don’t have enough money to take care of their children, how are they going to take care of an animal? And they [sic] don’t even treat their children right.
–Purty Girl Boutique, Thompson St.
I Don’t Know Where to Begin Fixing This Sentence…
Queer: New York is a gay-Jewish city; of course everybody complains! –6 train Overheard by: Secondhand Nose
Not Even an Albino?
Spa Girl: I just want to remind you that for 24 hours after your appointment you can’t have any food or drink with color.
Man: So does that mean that I can’t sleep with a black woman tonight?
Spa Girl: Uh…no! I guess not!
–BriteSmile Spa , 57th & 5th
Overheard by: Jackie Lee
Getting Served Left and Right
Teen subway dancer: Why you opening your mouth? No one’s talking to you.
Kid subway dancer: That’s why I got a mouth. So I can talk.
Teen subway dancer: I don’t like nosey niggers.
Kid subway dancer: At least I don’t sleep outside!
–D Train
Just One Block From Park Ave…
A bike messenger almost plows through the crowd at a crosswalk.
Messenger: You gotta look! You gotta look!
Black Woman: Nigger, you look! You ain’t drivin’ no car!
–44th & Madison
They Grow Up So Fast
Asian Kid: The fucking Triads are on your tail, bitch. Run!
Hispanic Kid: Fuck that! The Latin Kings will pump lead into your asses.
Black Kid: Nah, the Bloods and Crips will beat you down.
Jewish Kid: Yo…Um…I’ll get my yarmulke peoples to smack you all, son. What now nigga spic chink bitch ho? Suck my matzoh balls, bitch!
–Canal Street
Overheard by: Jonathan Harris
It Ain’t Racism Unless It’s Gratuitous
Urban Man #1: Man, I can’t stand these black folks movin’ into our neighborhoods, man!
Urban Man #2: You’re black.
Urban Man #1: Pygmies an’ flapjacks!!
–Malcom X and MLK Blvds.
Go Back to Israel!
Jewess: That’s the third time you mentioned Jews. What’s wrong with Jews?
Goy: They are demanding, confrontational, and have a hard time telling the truth. What religion are you, anyway?
Jewess: Uh…Baptist.
–Times Square
Overheard by: J. Peter Jones