Archive for the ‘Race’ Category

Wednesday One-Liners See New York With Fresh Eyes

Tourist to another, looking at Ellis Island: Look, there is Alcatraz!

–Staten Island Ferry

Little tourist girl to dad: Why are there so many brown people in this city?

–Lexington & 59th St

Tourist: We have made it to the center of the earth!

–Times Square

Overheard by: Lance Torres

Tourist: Wow! Times Square is really busy tonight.

–Times Square

Overheard by: erkala

Teenage tourist: Soooo… It's like a little bus… On rails… That goes in a tunnel?

–42nd & 7th

Frases De Miercoles

Young guy on cell: You're lucky I'm Colombian. If I was Ecuadorian, I'd be slapping you!

–Jackson Heights

Overheard by: Jobee

Angry man walking alone, to himself: I could have married a Dominican, but no, I decided not to!

–Mercer & Broome

Teen girl to friend: Your new Mexican is super creepy.

–On Line for the Colbert Report, Hell's Kitchen

Guy on cell: No, no, man, she's Puerto Rican. I'm just sayin' she's Dominican 'cause it sounds hotter.

–105 St & Lexington

Thug holding box of maxi pads: Yo, that motherfucker is like the gay Mexican Marlon Brando. Classic…

–CVS

Overheard by: Karen

Wednesday “It”-Liners

Guy: She *is* stupid. But in this unbelievably sexy way, so you don't even care.

–10th St & 3rd Ave

16-year-old black girl, about Shia LaBeouf: He's the sexiest white boy. I'm gonna rape his ass.

–Battery Park

Teen girl on cell: I would never have sexy mushrooms in front of my mom.

–Time Warner Center

Overheard by: Scott

20-something girl on cell: Nah, I won't play second bitch! She's just mad because I always look nice and keep my sexy up.

–Park Slope

Canadia: *Sniff*

Mom: You wanna play with my iPod? I put your favorite Bieber songs on there.
Three-year-old: He not my favorite anymore.
Mom: He's not? How come?
Three-year-old: Mommy, he's just a white boy from Canada.

–Uptown 1 Train

Overheard by: not a belieber

Can We at Least Agree That Two Whites Don't Make a Wong?

Highly agitated gay man, bleach-blond, indeterminately biracial: My mother was black! She died in 1999!
Middle aged black woman: Now, wait a second…
Highly agitated gay man: My mother was black and my father was Chinese!
Middle aged black woman: Now, you just don't worry about them…
Highly agitated gay man: If I'm white, it's because my black mother was white!
Middle aged black woman: Now you're just bein' crazy.

–Prospect Park, Brooklyn

Overheard by: MPW

Obamacare: Explained

Girl #1: What kind of insurance do you have?
Girl #2: Well, Medicaid, but it just got cut off.
Girl #1: What? They tried that shit with me. But I called everyday until they reinstated that shit. Sometimes you just gotta act black. No offense, I can say that because I'm Puerto Rican.
Girl #2: (nods)

–Doctor's Office, Jackson Heights