Archive for the ‘Rack’ Category

Wednesday One-Liners Smell Like Victory

One Hispanic lady to another: How you gonna give a kid with stinky feet Botox?

–R Train

Overheard by: Ferna

Smelly granola girl on cell: I dunno, maybe Wilco is too big to have an opening act. The show was, like, two days ago. (stops, sniffs armpit and winces) Fuck, I need a serious shower. I haven't been home since the show. Doesn't that suck? When you forget to clean up after a few days? (laughs to herself)

–McCarren Park

Overheard by: AleKatz

Woman on cell: It smells like college!

–BrewFest, South Street Seaport

Office student: It literally smells like my ass.

–CCNY Computer Lab

Girl: Nigga, you smell like the crack in my titties.

–Q Train

Dude on cell: Man, she came six times last night. It was crazy! (pause) We were soaking wet, but I didn't mind. It was nice to see her enjoying it. (pause) No, it didn't smell. It didn't smell like anything.

–Union Square

Overheard by: who are these people?

Big, Fake Ones

Columbia student volunteer: So, who knows what soy milk is?
Fourth grade girls: [Silence.]
Columbia student volunteer: Well, soy milk tastes like milk, but it’s made with beans.
Fourth grader: Hold the phone — beans has titties?

–P.S. 125

Overheard by: alexandra

What’s This “We” Shit?

Man pushing stroller: Do we have a bottle?
Bitchy wife: No, we have my breasts.

–Prospect Park

Overheard by: Aaron Padwee

Headline by: Danny

Runners-Up:
· “I Can’t Beat You With Those” – Digeridude
· “I Meant for the Baby.” – thisdaydreamer
· “Shall I Preheat Them For You?” – Mike Curry
· “They’re in the Diaper Bag” – Bri
· “Well Pop a Top, Beeyotch!” – Pozo


Click here to see the new Headline Contest

Raggedy Ann Got Soaked

Girl #1: How was babysitting yesterday?
Girl #2: Pretty good, but all of a sudden, in the middle of the park, the kid I was watching begins to breastfeed her doll… (silence) I'm not kidding.
Girl #1: Wow, that's fucked up.

–Barneys Co-Op, Spring St