Archive for the ‘Rack’ Category

Effing Wednesday One-Liners

Chick on cell: The well of his fuckwaddery springs eternal.

–Columbia University

Overheard by: Wild Dog Boy

Columbia student: Fuck. Fucking titties! What the fuck? Fucking titties, this is some goddamn bullshit! I really want a snack.

–110th & Broadway

Guy to girl: Are you serious? I'm not fucking creepy, okay? I'm not fucking creepy.

–Washington Square Park

Overheard by: NYU girl

Man on bicycle, yelling at car: Fuck you! Yeah, use your fucking blinkers, you fuckstick!

–10th & Broadway

Overheard by: Helene and Alice

Guy on cell, in monotone with no pauses: Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, I need you, I need you, I need you, bitch. (hangs up)

–M4 Bus

Those Were Uggs, You Tards

Guy #1: The girl with the tattoo on her breast.
Guy #2: Oh yeah, yeah. She got a huge booty. That shit be a jigglypuff.
Guy #1: Yeah, for real. I just wanna grab that shit.
Guy #2: Yeah, but she got hairy legs.
Guy #1: You seen ’em?
Guy #2: Hell yeah, she showed me.
Guy #1: But, you know, it’s winter. Girls be gettin’ sloppy in wintertime.
Guy #2: I don’t care, man. That shit’s atrocious. –4 train

Wednesday One-Liners Lead with Their Nipples

12-year-old girl to friend: So, he asked me for a piggyback ride and grabbed onto my boobs! Isn’t that what you call sexism? When you’re a perv? Sexist?

–6th & Houston

Overheard by: Ha, ha, Mal.

Man on cell: You’re an eight, but you’d be a ten if your boobs were bigger…

–19th & 7th

Girl: Where’s my phone? … Oh, there’s my boob.

–Prospect Heights, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Mariah

Woman on cell: I have to throw my breasts around and tell every guy I want to have sex with them at work.

–68th & 2nd

Chick on cell: I haven’t yet met him, you know, but he has a Christmas card featuring my boobies on his fridge.

–LIRR

Overheard by: Ladle

Wednesday One-Liner: What Is It Good For?

Cleaner: What a pair of tits on that girl! That's why we go to war, that's why we're in Iraq!

–Service Elevator, Lexington & 41st St

Overheard by: Nicky

Annoying chick, about John McCain: I mean, he was a POW because he fucked up!

–Shea Stadium

Overheard by: megan

Security guard, breaking up fight during peace march: You can't fight at the peace march! You can't fight at the peace march!

–143 & Malcolm X

Woman to screaming three-year-old: And that's why you have to register to vote! Or else they'll draft you and you'll have to go to war!

–33rd & 2nd

Girl on phone: I can just get a pass from the Israeli army. Don't worry about it. They're easy.

–NYU Palladium Dining Hall