Archive for the ‘Rack’ Category

The iTouch App We've All Been Waiting for

Blonde #1: I just got my boobs done!
Blonde #2: Oh, wow! They're so cute!
Blonde #1: They don't look too big or rock hard, do they? They hurt so much, I feel like a damn porn star!
Blonde #2: No, they look awesome!
Blonde #1: Wanna feel them?
Blonde #2: (squeezes friend's boobs)

–Apple Store, 14th St

Overheard by: Susie

Hey, Wednesday, Your One-Liner Is Showing!

Middle-aged woman, angrily on cell: You tell him to go outside right now, and take his clothes off!

–32nd St & Park Ave

Overheard by: djlori

Girl to friend: All of a sudden there's a naked man! Like, this doesn't translate well visually.

–Uptown 1 Train

Suit on cell: How about I send you two naked kids to have a good time? Fair enough?

–60th St & Columbus Ave

Overheard by: Stacey V

Girl on phone: Topless anarchy is still anarchy, man.

–5 Train

Short dude to friend: I woke up naked and wrapped in cellophane–again!

–Columbia University

On the Plus Side, You Can Store Junk Food under Your Saggy Tits!

Young Latina: I want to get a tattoo.
Post-pregnancy mom friend: Your tits are going to cover that when you get old, your husband's going to have to lift up your tits to see it. You're going to be eating McDonald's and cookies for the rest of your life.

–F Train

Overheard by: the guy you were sitting next to fer chrissakes

The Day Barbie Realized Her Infinite Power

Thug to smiling girl: It's so nice to see a pretty girl smiling!
Smiling girl: Everybody's been so nice to me today… I don't know what's going on!
Thug, pointing at her breasts: Did you just grow those last night, girl?
Smiling girl: Oh my god! I'm wearing a push up bra today! (pause) Well, I'll have to buy more of these! (walks away, jutting her chest out)

–48th & 2nd

Wednesdays Become One-Liner With the Universe

Young child to mother: I am not psychic.

–Downtown B Train

Overheard by: furf

Normal-looking guy: But we have the complexity of magic!

–NYU

Asian Bikram instructor: Listen to your breast and find your inner piss.

–Park Slope

Overheard by: Bikram Curious

Thug on cell: You don't know what kind of drugs they gave you, or if you really blacked out. But you have to understand that the spiritual world and the physical world are two different things. (pause) I don't have evidence of a spiritual world. (pause) You know that guy Des-cart? That's his name, right?

–Hunter College

Overheard by: trapped@hunter

Guy on phone: Listen, Julian, you are a shit-ass excuse for a friend. You can lick the peanut butter from between my toes. (pause) Listen, Julian, I'm on the other line with my psychic, let me call you back.

–49th St & 8th Ave

Overheard by: Lara