Archive for the ‘Rack’ Category

Wednesday Undie-Liners

College girl on cell: So as of last weekend I've pledged to be celibate for a year…although on second thought, it should really start today. I got pretty trashed last night and this morning I couldn't find the underwear I was wearing yesterday.

–Church St

Overheard by: Emma

20-something woman: Did you enjoy the bra fitting? Old lady grab your bits?

–Outside Town Shop

Overheard by: Wild Dog Boy

Elderly woman examining bras: What's with all this padding? I got my own damn titties!

–H&M, 5th Ave

Overheard by: titti-less

Eight-year-old in a suit jacket on cell, strutting around the store: Did you see any hot, sexy girls? Yeah, but were they hot and sexy? Where are you, man? Are you still in the underwear aisle? Yeah, but are you still by the panties? (louder) The panties!

–Barnes & Noble, Tribeca

Overheard by: emdeebee

Trashy girl walking funny: Well, I guess I should have worn underwear.

–Arthur Ave

A Nice Set of Wednesday One-Liners

Modest hoochie: Yeah, I can always tell if a guy’s a fag or not by whether he checks out my tits.

–Penn Station Teenage girl: That’s ’cause Puerto Ricans come up to you and be like, “Hey, Mami, lookin’ hot,” but Dominicans come up to you and be like, “Yo, Mami, you got nice tits!”

–Columbus Circle

Overheard by: erlinflask Woman in tight shirt: I just know, you know, that at some point I’m going to have saggy boobs.

–Ave A between 5th & 6th

Overheard by: Nathan Guy: I contend that if you’re going to allow someone to breast-feed in a public place, then I should be allowed to stare.

–Wd~50, Clinton St

Overheard by: Evan Toothless Brooklynite: I’m sayin’ she used to have some good pussy and some big ole titties. I’m talking double E-E’s. And she went to the doctor and had them cut off. Her titties was cut off! –A train Overheard by: The Law Professor Teen girl to mother: Maybe I’ll do that. Or maybe I’ll just give myself a boob job with a rusty butter knife and water balloons! –N train Guy: Well, it’s not like you can’t say you’ve never had your bosom in somebody’s elbow before. –Stage door, Eugene O’Neill Theatre, West 49th St

Aren’t There Some Giant Human-Hair Tapestries, or Something?

Four-year-old girl looking at photos depicting rape victims: Daddy, what are they doing in these pictures?
Father: Um, the women got really tired and decided to take a nap.
Seven-year-old boy: Why is there blood between their legs?
Mother, hurrying everyone to next piece: Look, breasts!

–Global Feminisms exhibit, Brooklyn Museum

Overheard by: office peon loved the exhibit

Who Wednesday One-Linered Mr. Burns?

Black 30-something man: And she said, "Nigga, you wanna fuck mah titties wit a gun?"

–Penn Station

Overheard by: Amanda R.

10-year-old boy, very loudly, to 10-year-old girl: Oh, yeah, well…how many guns have you ever held?

–5 Train

Middle aged white man in shorts: Anyone awake at 2 am should be shot!

–LIRR

Overheard by: L.C.

Street performer, trying to move crowd: Okay, let's try this! White people, we are not dangerous! (lifts shirt, pats down sides) We are unarmed! Step closer!

–W 45th & 5th

Man on phone: Right. Right. Wait, what? (in shock) He don't got a gun? Well, he has to have a gun! What kinda game do you think this is?

–J Train

Army dude to friends: People shoot at me every once in awhile. Do I get tipped? No, fuck tips!

–Havanna's Bar

Boys Don't Wednesday One-Liner

Mom to small children: Well, we all have parts. And these parts talk to our bodies and tell us we are a boy or a girl. And sometimes these parts get confused.

–Washington Square East

20-something girl to male friend: You're a dirty girl! You're a dirty girl! You're a dirty girl!

–N Train

Overheard by: TR

Mother to gender-transitioning son, questioning plans for surgery: Are you a boy trapped in a girl's body? I'm getting a face lift, and it's because I'm a young person trapped in an old person's body.

–39th & 9th

Man in yellow and green track suit and aviator sunglasses: Nah, I can't go. That's when I'm having my breast reduction.

–Columbus Circle

Overheard by: Ems

Teenage boy: I don't wanna be on that block, son! I know too many trannies on that block!

–Bedford & Grove

Overheard by: How many is too many?

Guy on cell, leaving message: Hello, Dave. This is your mother.

–Tisch School of the Arts

Overheard by: Bruce Lee

Teen boy: Fear me, I have vaginitis!

–Staten Island Ferry

Overheard by: Jingles

Wednesday Funbag-Liners

Teenage girl: Ohmigod. Doesn't she know that the "having big boobs" thing is, like, not in anymore?

–86th St

Overheard by: Kevin

Girl to another: It splashed on my boob… Then he slurped it off!

–Charles & 4th

Overheard by: Eric

20-something guy, singing: I wanna touch some boobs. I wanna touch some boobs. I wanna touch some boobs. I wanna find my motherfucking sock, 'cause I don't know where it is. I wanna touch some boobs…

–Pratt Institute

Angry hobo to college chick with big boobs zipping up her jacket: Don't put them titties away!

–5th & 21st

Elderly woman to husband: I keep my business in my bosom!

–Carnegie Deli