Archive for the ‘Rack’ Category

Wednesday One-Liners Need Extra Support

Woman on cell: He already started calling me ‘boobie’ so we did it last night.

–33rd St station

Queer: I’m so sick of her and her breasts!

–W 4th St subway

Overheard by: Jessie

Teen boy, walking into woman and child: Oh, sorry, my fault… [To his girlfriend:] See what yo’ titties got me into!

–42nd St & 7th Ave

Drunk bimbette: I’m so glad I have tits. I don’t know what I would do if I were a man. I call it the power of the oyster.

–Croton-Harmon line to Manhattan

Overheard by: Evan

Drunk woman: I got ketchup on my boob and I didn’t even eat anything!

–Yankee Stadium

Overheard by: Ryan

Drunk fratboy: Show your boobies if you love the Mets! Nudity for the Mets! Nudity for the Mets!

–Manhattan bound 7 train

Overheard by: lets go mets

I Like to Braid It Using Only My Tongue

Woman with strong Southern accent: I am gonna have her bachelorette party in my apartment next weekend.
Husband: (nods)
Woman: But the goddamn stripper won't return my phone calls.
(waitress brings shots)
Woman
: What is this?

Waitress: Tequila, on us.
Woman: This'll put hair on my boobies.
Husband's friends: That's just how he likes it.
Husband: (nods)

–Brother Jimmy's BBQ, Upper West Side

Hold Her Close

Chick: That bartender has such huge tits. Are you sure you don’t wish I had bigger tits?
Dude: Honey, you know I love you just the way you are.
Chick: You’re just saying that because I blow you every single night.
Dude: Well, it doesn’t hurt.

–Bar

Overheard by: Debra, The Barmaid Blog

Like Squeezing a Stress Doll

Bouncer: Nice. Are those real?
Hottie: What do you think?
Bouncer: Can I check?
Hottie: You can poke at ‘em, just don’t feel them up. He does so. Bouncer: You can tell that they’re fake.
Hottie: Well, they’re bigger than they used to be. –Club Spirit, Chelsea Overheard by: Johnny Envelope

Wednesday One-Liners Are Real, and They’re Spectacular

Suit: … But then I’d just be one big, walking boob!

–Grand Central

Overheard by: uh what?

Hipster chick: Oh my god, I know! Chad told me I have to show him my boobs before we graduate, and that’s, like, only a month away!

–118th & Broadway

Overheard by: sapphirebluemica

Ghetto tourist man looking at Maidenform billboard: Breasts! Breasts on a billboard!

–35th & 7th

Overheard by: Moses

19-year-old girl: I am not leaving here without black ballet flats and breasts.

–Bathroom line, Macy’s

Little boy: Look, Mommy, Shrek has titties!

–AMC, Bay Plaza

Overheard by: Mel & Damee

Boyfriend to angry girlfriend: I didn’t say you had an awkward body! I said you had awkward breasts!

–Camp, Cobble Hill