Archive for the ‘Rack’ Category

Wednesday One-Liners Go Back to School

Art teacher: Now you are true students of FIT! Nobody listens to directions! –FIT Suit on cell: I don’t know if going through water is resistance or friction, do you? God! I am so tired of doing the kid’s homework! –46th between 7th & 8th Female student: I think I’m gonna learn a lot. They were saying things that went, like, right over my head. –Fordham Overheard by: Jess McGins NYU girl on cell: No, I’m not going to waste the credits. I’m just going to fail the class on purpose. –Bleecker & Mercer Overheard by: Kristin Drunk chick: I’m majoring in the doggy-style orgasm. –Slainte, 1st & Bowery Overheard by: Genevieve Professor to class: Most of you are familiar with the breasts of members of the opposite sex who are close to your own age. –Columbia University Medical Center Professor: I have no idea what you’re saying, but I know you’re wrong. –Vanderbilt Hall, NYU Overheard by: The King Adrock

Wednesday One-Liners Smell Like Victory

One Hispanic lady to another: How you gonna give a kid with stinky feet Botox? –R Train Overheard by: Ferna Smelly granola girl on cell: I dunno, maybe Wilco is too big to have an opening act. The show was, like, two days ago. (stops, sniffs armpit and winces) Fuck, I need a serious shower. I haven't been home since the show. Doesn't that suck? When you forget to clean up after a few days? (laughs to herself) –McCarren Park Overheard by: AleKatz Woman on cell: It smells like college! –BrewFest, South Street Seaport Office student: It literally smells like my ass. –CCNY Computer Lab Girl: Nigga, you smell like the crack in my titties. –Q Train Dude on cell: Man, she came six times last night. It was crazy! (pause) We were soaking wet, but I didn't mind. It was nice to see her enjoying it. (pause) No, it didn't smell. It didn't smell like anything. –Union Square Overheard by: who are these people?

Big, Fake Ones

Columbia student volunteer: So, who knows what soy milk is?
Fourth grade girls: [Silence.]
Columbia student volunteer: Well, soy milk tastes like milk, but it’s made with beans.
Fourth grader: Hold the phone — beans has titties? –P.S. 125 Overheard by: alexandra