Girl on cell: I shit you not, it was a small studio apartment converted into a four bedroom on the 6th floor. –47th & 9th Fat suit on cell: How many people play the drums in Poland, really?…What? Wow. Cool. Well, plenty of time to practice I guess. –Penn Station Overheard by: Max T-M MTV chick: When I used to read, I went from the last chapter to the first. –MTV cafeteria Hipster: They’re always on the same train, so the first time you give them money, then remember your face. Every time you get on the train after that, they’ll follow you around. It’s like having your own 6-foot pet! –1 train Overheard by: spike
Polish man: Her 3 bedroom apartment in Williamsburg is empty for 9 months every year!
American man: What am I missing here?
Polish man: She’s an idiot! –Union Square
Attorney: Wow, it’s really bad outside!
Front Desk Lady: I hope it’s not like that when it’s time to go home.
Attorney: Hey, don’t you live in Staten Island?
Front Desk Lady: No I don’t. And even if you buy me a $4 million house there, I still wouldn’t live in that dump. –Midtown office Overheard by: Felson
Man #1: …and on the top floor, they sell condos.
Man #2: What is that, like a building? –Park Slope Overheard by: jbay
Customer: I’m looking for a kitchen table, some chairs, and a coffee table.
Sales guy: Wow, your place must be very big!
Customer: Not really. That’s about all that will fit.
–Surprise! Surprise! store, East Village
NYU girl #1: Oh my god, could you imagine living in that apartment building with no windows?
NYU girl #2: Honey, no.
–Outside Manhattan Detention Center, Centre St
Chick complaining about looking for roommates: The problem with today is that everybody’s Jewish.
–Dobbin & Norman
Overheard by: Sam Tresler
Young quasi-gangster to friends: Even if you’re not Jewish, you’re, like… Jewish.
–Post-Yankees game on B train
Overheard by: Indiana
Tourist chick: How, how, how can there be no Jewish deli? All I want is a tongue sandwich and a fucking piece of pizza!
–Grand Central Station
Overheard by: X-tal
Lady suit: Are you saying you’d rather be with a Jewish person than a wife-beater?
–18th & 6th
Overheard by: emily
JAP: Shiksas are totally not allowed on Jdate!
–71st & Columbus
Overheard by: DebDan
Chick in stall to friend: It must be a Jewish thing, but whenever there’s food around I have to eat it — even if I’m not hungry.
–Restroom, Loews Cinema, 11th & 3rd Ave
Overheard by: Em
Queer: No, like, of course you’re not Jewish. I just wanted to check before I dissed the Jews.
–113th & Broadway
Overheard by: hilla
Obese white trash wife in housewares aisle: If we had a real house, I’d decorate it like crazy.
Obese white trash husband: Yeah…
Broker: This is not a pet-friendly property.
Girl: Does it matter if my cat is toilet-trained?
Broker: I don’t understand.
Girl: My cat doesn’t have a litter box. It uses the toilet. Does that help?
Broker: I am not sure if that makes a difference. How did you do it?
Girl: I used a training kit. CitiKitty.
Broker: It might impress the owner, but I am not sure it makes a difference. Does your cat flush?
Girl: It will if that helps me get the apartment.
–82nd & Columbus
Black guy #1, noticing white guy walking down the street: Aw, man!
Black guy #2: There goes the neighborhood.
White guy: This is the cheapest rent in the city. You better believe my people are going to start moving here.
–Franklin Ave, Brooklyn