Archive for the ‘Real Estate’ Category

It Involves Double Indemnity

Biker dude #1: I’m staying at that hotel, down by…93rd and 3rd.
Biker dude #2: Oh yeah?
Biker dude #1: Yeah, that’s where I tried to commit suicide.
Biker dude #2: What do you pay a week down there?
Biker dude #1: I got a good deal going with the guy down there. –6th Ave & 14th St, Gowanus, Brooklyn

Hobos Just Can’t Close

Realtor guy:…and the area is really gentrifying quite nicely…very safe. The people from the projects never come over to this side of the neighborhood, so it’s a great place to raise a family. Homeless passerby pushing a wheelbarrow full of junk: Could you folks help me out with some money to buy food? Give me money. I haven’t eaten in three days. Realtor guy: Sorry, I… I work on commission. [To his clients]
This happens even in Cobble Hill. The husband and wife walk towards their car. Homeless guy: Come on man, I’m hungry! Realtor guy: Fuck you, you just cost me a commission! –Dwight & Dikeman, Red Hook Overheard by: Paul J. Pinizzotto