Archive for the ‘Real Estate’ Category

The Brownshirts Bug Everyone

Guy #1: …he always wears the cheapest clothes but always has the most expensive sneakers!
Guy #2: Yo, white people bug me. They always wear crappy clothes, they be wearing green shirts, brown shirts…
Girl: But they always have nice cars, houses, they go on nice vacations. I’d rather wear cheap clothes and have a nice house and go on nice vacations.
Guy #1: You’re missing the point! –N train Overheard by: tanechka

I Wonder If Suit Needs a Hag

Girl #1: So yeah, it was really cold out there, and he had to keep
building fires cause they had no heat.
Girl #2: What?
Girl #1: Yeah, and also they had to keep this tea kettle on top of the
fireplace so it wouldn’t get dry.
Girl #2: What? Who lives like that?
Girl #1: What? They live in the country.
Girl #2: Yeah, but they had to like, chop wood. Who lives like that? I have heat.
Girl #1: Yeah, that’s ’cause you live on the Upper East Side. –Columbia University

He Also Eats More Than They Do

PR girl #1: I love your outfit today!
PR girl #2: You know, I was walking down the street, and this homeless man in a box told me that “Purple is the color of royalty.”
PR girl #1: Don’t joke about that. I could be joining him, if my apartment doesn’t come through.
PR girl #2: At least he lives in Manhattan. –Office, 53rd & Broadway Overheard by: Roger Resnicoff

He Was Distributed All Over the Tarmac

Chick #1: So, that girl from Japan is paying double rent, right? $1600 on her apartment here, and $1800 on the other apartment where she was living. I asked her how she could afford both places and she told me that her Mom and her sister died in a plane crash.
Chick #2: Holy shit! Which plane crash?
Chick #1: I don’t know, one in Japan.
Chick #2: So she’s rich now, right?
Chick #3: That’s how my friend moved to Miami. –Williamsburg

She Gives Good Overheard

Girl #1: If she moves into your kitchen and her boyfriend visits, you are gonna overhear them fucking.
Girl #2: Uh-uh. I’m puttin’ the kibosh on that.
Girl #1: You can’t tell them they can’t have sex in her own room where she pays rent!
Girl #2: I don’t want to hear no sex…unless it’s on the porn. Or me. Or two men. –International Bar, 1st Avenue Overheard by: Nicole A.