Archive for the ‘Rednecks’ Category

People for the Ethical Treatment Of Wednesday One-Liners

Girl to guy: I don't think that hamsters respond to you as much as, like, a guinea pig does. –Bank St. & Greenwich St. Overheard by: Katie Compa Crazy redneck-looking guy to PETA circus protester: They're gonna do to us what they did to the lions! We'll be put in concentration camps! –Madison Square Garden Overheard by: Santiago and Catie Guy: And she can ride him like a horse! –W 103rd St Graying Brooklyn guy to another: You know, the only thing I haven't seen is a bobcat. –7th Ave & 4th St, Brooklyn Underclassman to another: Lizards can't impregnate anyone. They don't even have penises. –Townsend Harris High School Overheard by: amused Drunk man in tiger costume to McDonald's worker: There's an escaped zoo animal and he wants to eat your pussy. Stop serving your food and hide! (then steals bowl of jams used for breakfast menu) –McDonald's

Bow, a Beer, a Redneck Beer; Ray, Your Incest-Begotten Son…

Hick tourist #1: Why don’t we get off at the next stop… Bow Ray? Bow Ray?
Hick tourist #2: Bowery. –Brooklyn-bound J train, approaching Canal St Overheard by: there’s no e in tracy Headline by: Jatmos Runners-Up: · “1 child left behind” – Reekuhhhh! · “And ‘SoHo’ Has a Whole Other Meaning Once You’ve Crossed the Mason-Dixon” – julietaroja · “From the people who brought you nuc-u-lar” – Krisztina · “Hicked on Phonics did not work at all” – Darvio Harvo · “If at first you don’t succeed, try the exact same thing again” – Nathan Logan · “It’s never too early for a Steve Irwin joke.” – hauptman · “Same situation, but the passerby would call them “Cletus”” – Julie · “They should probably take off those white hoods before stepping foot in the poetry club.” – erak · “Tomato, tomater” – Lennyb · “That sounds kinda gay, Cletus.” – Rich Anderson · “Why didn’t we let them secede again?” – Nathaniel
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