Southern college girl #1: We’re just conversing over here.
Southern college girl #2: The word is ‘conversate.’ ‘Converse’ is a shoe!
–Uptown A train
Archive for the ‘Rednecks’ Category
Bow, a Beer, a Redneck Beer; Ray, Your Incest-Begotten Son…
Hick tourist #1: Why don’t we get off at the next stop… Bow Ray? Bow Ray?
Hick tourist #2: Bowery.
–Brooklyn-bound J train, approaching Canal St
Overheard by: there’s no e in tracy
Headline by: Jatmos
Runners-Up:
· “1 child left behind” – Reekuhhhh!
· “And ‘SoHo’ Has a Whole Other Meaning Once You’ve Crossed the Mason-Dixon” – julietaroja
· “From the people who brought you nuc-u-lar” – Krisztina
· “Hicked on Phonics did not work at all” – Darvio Harvo
· “If at first you don’t succeed, try the exact same thing again” – Nathan Logan
· “It’s never too early for a Steve Irwin joke.” – hauptman
· “Same situation, but the passerby would call them “Cletus”” – Julie
· “They should probably take off those white hoods before stepping foot in the poetry club.” – erak
· “Tomato, tomater” – Lennyb
· “That sounds kinda gay, Cletus.” – Rich Anderson
· “Why didn’t we let them secede again?” – Nathaniel
Click here to see the new Headline Contest
Brooklyn Has Its Failings, But ‘Third World Country’ Is a Little Harsh
Texan dude: Have you ever noticed how everyone on this train is small?
Female companion: Hunh.
Texan dude: Maybe it’s ’cause they come from third world countries. Malnourished and stuff.
–L train, Grand
Overheard by: Joe Roumeliotis
Satan Island, Starring Vincent Price?
Tourist: I want to go home. New York is so unchristian. Look at this, they even have a place called “Satan Island”!
New Yorker: Oh yeah, we New Yorkers are the worst. We even sold our souls to the devil so we could all read.
–6 train
Clearly They Know Better Than to Ask Directions
Tourist #1: Y’all! Didya look at the map? It weren’t on the map, I’m tellin’ ya!
Tourist #2: I’m lookin’ right here at this map an’ it don’t say nothin’ that I don’t already know.
Tourists #2 and #3 start to cross the street.
Tourist #1, screaming: Y’all! It ain’t that way!
Tourist #3: Stop talkin’ so damn country. You gonna get us shot!
–Rockefeller Center
Overheard by: Vicky
Oh, Just Like You Bringing Me to Orgasm?
Texan mom: It says here that the French gave this statue as a gift.
Texan dad: Ain’t no way France coulda sent that. They ain’t got no boat big enough.
Texan mom: But it says here…
Texan dad: Ain’t possible means ain’t possible. Gittit?
–Liberty Island
Overheard by: Colman
The Wednesday One-liners Monologues
Southern girl: I got guys asking me to send them pictures of my cooter. It’s like guys know when you’re taken; they flock to you like bees to moldy bread. –3 train