Teen girl: Whenever I like a guy I get diarrhea. –8th Ave. & 16th St. Overheard by: Kevin Allan
Archive for the ‘Relationships’ Category
Whipped But Not Pinched
Hubby: That woman just grabbed my ass!
Wifey: Yeah, you wish.
–Outside the Hard Rock, W 57th St.
Overheard by: Ron Marler
Nice guys can relate
A hipster girl, walking down Bedford Ave in Williamsburg, talking on her cell phone: “I didn’t realize what a good boyfriend Matt was…. yeah… he’s too nice, too together, too in touch with his emotions… his only problem is that he doesn’t smoke pot.”
Time to Diss Him from the Cover of Elle
Girl #1: I just don’t get it! He said they were just friends… But they were always hanging out. Then all of a sudden he dumps me!!
Girl #2: Girl friend, you’ve been Jolie’d!
–C train
Is That a Euphemism for Hemorrhoids?
Goth Girl: …yeah, I wear his ring around my neck, and I gave him this flame pendant, cause y’know, I consider myself a fire fairy.
Pal: Oh yeah, definitely.
–NYU Cinema Class
Gin Makes a Woman Mean
Drunk Girl: I’m really glad you made it out tonight.
Sober Guy: I’m really glad you’re going home.
He closes her cab door and walks away.
–Bleecker St.
Overheard by: Stephie Russell
Nothing Makes Me Come Like Some Zyklon
Gay teen: I told her that while she’s over there she has to find me a German boyfriend.
Girl: Why?
Gay teen: So he can dress up like a Nazi and we can play concentration camp fetish games.
Girl: Oh, right.
–Odessa, Ave. A
What’s Your P-p-point?
Woman #1: That bad, huh?
Woman #2: And he stutters. I just want to smack him over the head. Spit it out!
–Bensonhurst
Puerto Rican Pride
Female Police Officer: So he calls me at 1:59 and tells me, ‘I’m out with the guys and I won’t be able to be home by 2.’ So I say to him, ‘Just don’t come home at 6 am!’ and he says okay and then he comes home at 5:59!
Male Police Officer: Why do you put up with this?
Female Police Officer: Because once you go Puerto Rican, you never go a-seekin’!
–Precinct 90, Williamsburg
And frankly, she makes a good case
20-something (to boyfriend): Janet said that no boyfriends were invited to her party. But she then made exceptions, for different reasons, for the boyfriends of every other girl who is invited to the party who has a boyfriend. Except for you. So I’m worried that she may not like you. –F train