Hipster Girl: Hipsterism was made for Jewish guys and Asian Girls. – Williamsburg
Archive for the ‘Religion’ Category
Here's the Church, Here's the Steeple, Open the Doors and See All the Wednesday One-Liners
Catholic schoolgirls coming out of subway station, in unison: All those nuns care about is fucking us!
–Canal & Varick
Girl on phone, mocking tone: Oh, he's at church, huh? I don't know why he goes to church, he's going to hell anyway, ain't no room for a Blood in heaven!
–BedStuy
Woman: I wanted to raise them Quaker; I just never got around to it.
–The Village
Overheard by: Aaron
Old lady: Well, she's a bitch to say she's religious!
–Madison Ave
Why Is This Beer Different From All Other Beers?
Tall guy to short guy: You gotta have a beer.
Short guy: Why do I have to have a beer if I am a rabbi?
–Grand & Broadway
Hmm…You Don't See Little Halos on All the Rats?
Woman to friend: So you're back in New York again.
Hobo drinking Starbucks, passing by: This isn't New York. (pause) This is heaven.
–79th St & Broadway
Overheard by: Katherine
If This Conversation Goes on for Much Longer, There Definitely Isn't a God.
Boy, after watching An Inconvenient Truth: Do you believe in god?
Girl: I believe in mother nature.
Boy: You don't believe in god?
Girl: I mean, I do… But I believe this is happening because of nature.
Boy: But you believe in her?
Girl: What?
Boy: Mother nature?
Girl: Mother nature is not like a person… It's just a saying for nature.
Boy: Wait… What? Oh… (pause) I thought she was like a tree or something.
–Regal Cinema, Union Square
Overheard by: Noeman Samdani
I Want a Divorce.
Wife: Why are the boys wearing skirts?
Husband: Those aren't skirts. They're kilts. It's the uniform for pipers.
Wife: Oh. I didn't know that was a religion.
–W 46th St
…As Abraham Said to Isaac.
Jewish guy at bar: Yeah, I'd say that I am pretty religious.
Guy with him: Oh, so do you keep kosher?
Jewish guy at bar: Oh, no, that's sooo expensive.
–Toad Hall, SoHo
Overheard by: Christian Johnson
JAP Means “Chosen One” in WASP Speak, Right?
Teenage girl #1: I go to a Christian school.
Teenage girl #2: Aren't you Jewish?
Teenage girl #1: Yeah, they love me. They think I'm the chosen one!
–3rd Ave & 15th St
Wednesday How Many Liners?
Cute guy to German flight attendant on layover: So, do you have cars in Germany?
–Barracuda
Overheard by: barkeeper
Girl: So, my mom is Jewish and my dad is Christian. Does that make me, like, bi-racial?
–Eugene Lang College
Overheard by: Still ashamed I go to school here
Hispanic high school girl: Is the Fourth of July always on a Friday?
–N Train
Overheard by: D-Law
Guy to friend: Well, that's nice, they have these machines set up for the visually impaired, but what about the deaf people?
–ATM, 38th St & Madison Ave
Overheard by: jennyooooo
Student: Is Swedish even a language?
–Columbia University
Trucker: What are you, stupid, or both?
–M86 Crosstown Bus
Has the Westboro Baptist Church Heard This News?
Mother of 8-year-old: I don't mind that my son is so into zombies, Jesus was a zombie technically. After all, it's a healthy way for him to find our religion.
Mother of 10-year-old: I never thought about it that way. (to son) Joseph, do you like zombies?
–1 Train
Overheard by: sarah-Jaana Nodell