Hipster screamed out: “Michael Bloomberg has electricity now!”
Archive for the ‘Republicans’ Category
New York’s Only Republican
Woman: Did you just watch the Presidential debate?
Man: Yes, we did.
Woman: Are you Kerry supporters?
Man: No, of course not. Kerry is the worst presidential candidate in the last 50 years and he would be the worst president ever.
Woman: Oh, do you want to come to Good Morning America tomorrow and stand outside, waving Kerry signs?
Man: I was being entirely serious. I hate Kerry.
The woman looks at him, unbelieving, and walks away in silence.
–Outside the San Marcos bar, East Village
The New York Marginalized
Columbia University student #1: The most marginalized group on campus are the college Republicans
Columbia University student #2: No, it’s the Christians
– Private get-together of Columbia students, East Village
Putting the DNC Back in Dancing
Guy: Are you more of a Democrat or a Republican?
Girl: Hmm. That’s a tough one. It’s like being in West Side Story.
–Tennessee Mountain, SoHo
Bill O'Reilly Wasn't the Easiest Kid to Raise.
Small boy zipping by on scooter: What's that word again?
Mother, following behind him: “Conspiracy.”
Small boy: Tax conspiracy!
–Prospect Heights, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Katie Naum
Pretty Much Speaks for Itself
Alabaman, about MLK Day: Yeah, well, down in Alabama we don’t celebrate his birthday, but the day he was shot.
College kid: Uh…
–49th & 3rd
An Old-School Reagan Republican
Tight jeans #1: It’s like the only way to be a punk these days is to be a Republican.
Tight jeans #2: I know.
–2nd Ave, between 7th & 8th St
Overheard by: Tim
Wednesday One-Liners Spend Most of Their Time Fundraising
Man to guy trying to avoid him: Because, you see — all Republicans are Nazis. I don’t know why no one else can tell.
–67th & Broadway
Overheard by: kendra
Thug to another: Damn, nigga! That’s why the Democrats ain’t going to win the motherfuckin’ White House in 2008!
–Union Square
Overheard by: guy who’s not sure if it’s racist or not
Righteous girl: I am glad I slept with him before I found out he was a Republican.
–6 train, Uptown
Overheard by: Susan
Rollerblading twelve-year-old to friend: Sean Hannity is such a douche!
–44th and 8th
Anti-Bush crazy at anti-war stand on the street: There’s an idiot in the White House! There’s an idiot in the White House! …. Actually, he’s a monkey — we got the DNA results back!
–Outside of the Met
Man on cell: Well, they killed 3,000 people! …Nooo, not the Arabs, the Conservatives — the New York Conservatives!
–181 St & Ft. Washington, Starbucks
Overheard by: One of the teachers
Hobo: I hope I never run for office, because you people aren’t the first group I’ve said fucked-up shit to.
–F Train
She’s Just an Enthusiastic Lesbian
Old woman cheering for President Bush’s passing caravan: Viva Bush! Viva Bush!
Younger woman: Well, at least one out of a million New Yorkers ain’t bad.
–50th St & 2nd Ave
Overheard by: ~emily
New York Agrees: Wednesday One-Liners Are the People’s Choice
Hobo: All Democrats must dye their hair pink! All Democrats must dye their hair pink. Pink is the color of pussies! Therefore, all Democrats are pussies!
–16th & 8th
Overheard by: My hair isn’t pink and I’m voting for Spitzer
Man having trouble with the levers on his voting machine: Wait, I know what the problem is…I’m a Republican!
–Carroll Gardens
Overheard by: Not a Republican
Young fireman to conspiracy nut: You liberal bastard. I hope you die
in a fire. Motherfucker.
–Ground Zero
Overheard by: Jeremy C.
Hobo walking in the rain, yelling: All Democrats are Al Sharpton cock-suckers! The only question is do they spit or swallow the cum!
–12th St & 5th Ave