Archive for the ‘Retail Therapy’ Category

Wednesday One-Liner, Huh! What Is It Good For?

JAP on cell: If more people wore glitter there would no war.

–Therapy Store

Crazy old guy: I want a dog for president. You know why? Dogs don't start wars.

–31St & Ditmars, Astoria

Overheard by: Randi and Patrick

(at an anti-war rally)
Street vendor
: Say no to war, say yes to Louis Vuitton!


–Midtown

Overheard by: Oh the irony

50-something guy on cell: You see, we are a military agency, not a government agency. (pause) So when I punched out that Homeland Security guy, I punched out a civilian.

–Union Square Park

Overheard by: Ksenia

Eight-year-old boy: I dare you to fight in the civil war!

–7 Train

Wednesday One-liners Eat Churro

Woman on cell: Yeah, I have to go. I’m too distracted on the phone, and I don’t trust anyone in this terminal. People are speaking Spanish behind me, if you know what I mean. –LaGuardia

Cause If I Don’t Make Quota This Month, the Yakuza Will Have My Thumbs

Overeager sales associate: Welcome to American Eagle! Can I help you find anything?
Guy: No thanks, just looking.
Overeager sales associate: Hey, you know what would really look good on you?
Guy: What?
Overeager sales associate: Jeans!
Guy: Uh… I guess I like jeans.
Overeager sales associate: That’s music to my ears!

–American Eagle, Union Square

Overheard by: doubeldee

Overheard Signs

Chick #1: Do you have a book called White Supremacy by Fredrickson?
Store guy: No.
Chick #1: Can you see if any other Barnes & Noble has it?
Store guy: No, none in Manhattan. I take it it’s for a class or something?
Chick #1: No, it’s for my own, uh, personal knowledge. Thanks anyway.
Store guy: Sure.
Chick #2: I need a book of art or photographs by crazy people. –Barnes & Noble, Astor Place Next Wednesday, 2/22, the Overheard staff–both of us–will be reading and signing the new Overheard in New York book at the above location. It starts at 7.

Wednesday One-liners Lead the Market

Suit: The thing about sales is that you’re nothing but a paid liar. –44th & Lexington Girl on cell: Really? Three and a half hours? I don’t think so. The ad says after four hours you need to worry. –Nassau & Liberty Old woman: There’s this green tea thing now…Starbucks started it…supposedly it’s really good for you. –Starbucks, Times Square Girl: I am, like, having an affair with my iPod. –Sullivan & Bleecker Man: I want the strongest coffee you have. With caffeine. Please. –Starbucks, 78th & Lexington Overheard by: Joshua S. Queer: Allison, did you buy that bra so that the straps would match your shopping bag? –2nd Avenue & 5th Street