Queer #1: Let's go see a movie.
Queer #2: Okay… What do you want to see?
Queer #1: Let's go see Milk.
Queer #2: Isn't that about a retarded man who becomes President?
–Cosi, 15th St
Archive for the ‘Retardation’ Category
Brooklyn's Always Been a Special-Needs Borough
Woman: I don't mean to be mean, but you know, kids who are… underdeveloped mentally?
Man: Oh, retards?
Woman, relieved: Yeah!
–Downtown Brooklyn
Overheard by: Myrtle&Carlton
…Just Like Janet Explained in Your Wedding Vows?
Long haired guy: Jung would say I have a very low sensate rating.
Meathead: What? So you're retarded?
–Greenpoint, Brooklyn
As Depicted in the Epic Documentary Short Bust-a-Nut
Big guy: I read the other day on the internet that masturbating can really make you retarded.
Clerk: Really? (long pause) Wow!
–Porn Shop, Time Square
Overheard by: carepicha
And Everyone Sounds Fucking Retarded When They're Overheard.
Hipster boy, texting: So is it “in-” or “impregnate”?
Hipster girl: I'm pretty sure it's “impregnate.”
Hipster boy: Impregnate? Like an imp?
Hipster girl: Everyone hearing you thinks you're fucking retarded.
Hipster boy: Well, at least I'm not an imp.
–PATH Train
Is No Nationality Immune from This Line Of Reasoning?
Midwestern tourist: Is she Spanish or retarded?
New Yorker: Retarded.
–19th St & 8th Ave, Park Slope
Overheard by: Danny
The Two Main Viewing Demographics Of Judge Judy
Woman: It's so nice to be retired…
Man: “Retarded?”
Woman: That, too.
–28th & 5th
Overheard by: EHL
For Me, Anyway
Hipster #1: And so then she said, “I'm not even turned on, I just think you're retarded…”
Hipster #2: Oh, dude. Did you guys still have sex?
Hipster #1: Yeah, it was okay.
–Broadway & Houston
Overheard by: Rachel
Now Playing: Wednesday One-Liners
Moviegoer: Come on, I wanna see this potentially shitty movie!
–AMC Loews, 68th & Broadway
Overheard by: Robert Gleyberman
Guy on phone: I'm not trying to have sex with you, I just really want to see The Dark Knight.
–Union Square
Overheard by: Ross
Movie theater employee: I don't go to the movies. I watch them on the internet.
–AMC Loews, Lincoln Square
Overheard by: Holly
Guy on cell: Okay, love you, bye… Oh, and the reason she says "Foxy, you better work it out!" is because that's the name of her character in the movie.
–62nd & Broadway
Overheard by: Richard
Nerdy film major: Silent Night, Deadly Night II is the worst movie ever. It's so bad it's amazing. There's something cathartic about watching it; you leave thinking, "there is a god!"
–NYU Dining Hall
Guy leaving The Curious Case of Benjamin Button: You have to be some kind of anti-Christ to write a movie that retarded.
–AMC Loews, 68th & Broadway
Overheard by: Mark Nilges
Girl, as credits roll at the end of The Curious Case of Benjamin Button: Wow…they both lived way too long.
–AMC Loews, 68th & Broadway
…Having to Dye Your Hair Blond and Everything.
Random girl: Mr. Smith*, you should come see the play tonight. I'm playing a retard and a Barbie!
Teacher: That must be quite a stretch for you.
–Bard High School Early College