Archive for the ‘Rich people’ Category

Do Your Diamond Shoes Pinch Your Feet?

Young suit #1 (holding pack of gum): Do you have change for a hundred?
Female cashier: No.
Young suit #1: Dude, do you have a dollar? All I have is four hundreds.
Young suit #2: Sorry, I only have five hundreds.
Young suit #1: Ah, I hate it when that happens.
(the two suits leave)
Suit #3 (walking in)
: Do you have change for a hundred?

Female cashier: Don't make me kick yo' ass, brotha.

–Deli, General Motors Office Building

Overheard by: don't look at me, I make $10 an hour

Wednesday Doing-Liners

Socialite-in-training: So all I had in this stupid bar in Las Vegas is a vodka tonic and a whiff of cocaine and before I know it I’m making out with a guy that I distinctly remember saying "I don’t like you" to. Yeah… That happened a lot this summer…

–116th & Broadway

Yuppie: I’m in fucking Penn station, I don’t know if it’s fucking snowing outside. I hope six falls up my nose tonight.

–Penn Station

Student on cell: I mean, I could say there are people going into finance doing lines of coke on a Monday night and here I am, doing work.

–114th b/w Broadway & Amsterdam

Kid, walking out of middle school: Man, I could really use some cocaine!

–East Village

Model to friend about styling team: Yo, before I knew they were from California, I thought they were on coke…

–Crwon Heights

Overheard by: Cuttie

Yuppie to friend: No, seriously. He’s not a jerk at all. He’s a cokehead. You’ll love him.

–Essex & Rivington

Every Little Wednesday One-Liner Helps

Professor: Gods, these students. It’s like they just don’t get it, you tell them things and two minutes later they ask you the same thing. How did they get here? What are they going to major in? In "homelessness"?

–English Department, Hostos Community College

Well-dressed 20-something girl: Homeless people tell me to cheer up all the time!

–1 train

Rich woman #1, fixing rich woman #2′s scarf: [laughs] Oh my god, you look homeless!

–1 Train

Overheard by: sagehen

Well-dressed woman on cell: It’s just another Wednesday and I’m a bag lady.

–Columbia University

Overheard by: Ladle

Mother to her flock of children entering the train and then getting off: Run guys run, theres a homeless guy on that train! Run!

–F Train

Overheard by: yana

Totally Worth It If You Want to Ascend to a Higher Plane

Businesswoman #1: So I had to go in this little booth, and it has these tiny holes that shoot air at you! And I was like “What on earth is this for?” and the security guy said “Oh, it’s so we can get a sense of your aura.” I mean really, they don’t let you get on a plane if your aura is bad?
Businesswoman #2: Wow, I guess so. Airport security is getting really tight these days.
Businesswoman #1: Seriously.

–50th & 7th

Overheard by: Arielle