Archive for the ‘Rimming’ Category

Wednesday One-Liners Are Coming to Dinner

Guy on cell: I eat ass like a champion.

–Havemeyer & S 1st St, Williamsburg

Overheard by: EA

Scary old guy to pretty woman: Oooh, girl, you look so fine. Tell your husband I want to bite your kneecaps off.

–West Village

Lady on cell: Yeah, I’m really hungry, too. I could really eat some nice wallpaper right about now.

–83rd & Amsterdam

Overheard by: Debbie

Woman: I’d rather eat homeless person’s cum than ever eat plain yogurt again.

–Clinton & Stanton

Creepy guy: Let me put it this way: I might not be compelled to eat a puppy, but I just might eat a baby. There’s just something unattractive about them.

–Bus to Penn Station

Mother to screaming child: If you don’t stop crying I am going to eat you!

–100th & Broadway

Overheard by: briana

Bouncer to girl showing ID: You’re so beautiful. I wanna put you on a pedestal… and eat your ass.

–West Village

Overheard by: RBNY

Nobody Ever Is

Slacker chick in Heidi haircut, Mao cap and gas station jacket: What really pissed me off was we were fooling around one night and he was texting another girl. I’m, like, sitting there naked, ready to do whatever, and he’s pulling that shit. He’s all about wanting to eat out my asshole, and then he does that.
Slacker dude: I guess he wasn’t really ready to get everything he wanted.

–Raccoon Lodge, TriBeCa

Overheard by: Nic

Wednesday One-Liners Thought Douching With Vinegar Would Help

Biker lady: You think I have syphilis? Hah! –Hudson River running path, 38th St Overheard by: lukejoy Girl on cell: I know! She was, like, so defensive about it! Like, “So he impregnated me; at least I didn’t get herpes.” I was like, “Honey, is that really a fair trade?” –A train Overheard by: claire Ghetto teen: You know, like 90 percent of all people have herpes. That’s like 1 in every 3 people. –Suffolk & Rivington Girl: I know, when I first got chlamydia, I didn’t know who to turn to. Luckily I got it from my doctor. –45th & 5th Overheard by: Jerringo Nationpess Old lady, during a Clerks II scene dealing with “ass to mouth,” to old man: That’s how you get E. coli! –Movie theater, 86th & 3rd Overheard by: katey Queer on cell: I’m not saying he’s a nasty faggot. I’m just saying he has HIV. –5th Ave between 4th and 5th, Park Slope Overheard by: Gus Guy on cell: So I went to Amsterdam and got a handjob from a hooker, and I thought I had HIV for, like, two years…Yeah, I’m a pretty weird guy. –Whole Foods, Chelsea

Clean Yet Dirty (NYC Short Stories)

Teen girl #1: She once said to me, “I was thinking about us kissing in the shower.”
Teen girl #2: I hope you were wearing clothes. –Canal & Broadway Guy #1: Does she even shower?
Guy #2: That’s what I asked him. But then he said, “Not only does she shower, but then she licks my ass and jacks me off. It’s fucking great!” –22nd & 3rd Overheard by: Erin B Man #1: You smell great!
Man #2: Thanks. I haven’t bathed since eleven. –70th & Amsterdam