Archive for the ‘Rockefeller Center’ Category

Wednesdays Strap on Their One-Liners

Woman walking into apartment building: Why did I get stuck carrying the bag of butt plugs? –Greenpoint Ave Hot girl on cell: You won't die if you get stabbed by a dildo. (pause) Well, even if it was a hooker. What did you drink? –Cook St & Bushwick Ave Overheard by: cameo Homie on BlackBerry; No, no, peep this, I said "cock ring" and she says, "like the guy from the OJ trial?" I'm dead serious! –Rockafeller Plaza Attractive 20-something to friend: Got hit with a sex toy! –Pillow Fight, Union Square Overheard by: Anna P. Girl to four friends: And then I saw my old wooden dildo. It was wooden! –37th St & 8th Ave 20-something girl: This is the most exciting thing to happen today! And that's saying something, considering today was a day that included buying sex toys! –Topshop

I Had to Block My Wife, Though

Hardhat #1: Did you check out my wall lately?
Hardhat #2: Uh, no.
Hardhat #1: Dude! You should! That chick I was telling you about, she wrote all over it.
Hardhat #2: No shit!
Hardhat #1: Things I can’t even repeat to you.
Hardhat #2: Awww, man, right on! I will log on tonight.
Hardhat #1: Facebook is awesome. –Rockefeller Center Overheard by: zed

White Folks Still Claim Jesus Was A Cracker

Teen boy: Do you know where I can find those Communion wafers? I want to eat them with salsa.
Friend: Um, you can’t just eat those. It’s the body of Christ. –Rockefeller Center Overheard by: Jason
Headline by: Bored Beyond Belief
· “Besides, Three Days Later You’ll Be Hungry Again” – Sparky
· “…And After Three days, He Arose, with Craving for Pico de Gallo” – Russ Wall
· “…And They’re 2000 Years Past Their Expiration Date” – John
· “And Stop Putting Salt on the Rim of the Chalice” – Amy Stephenson
· “Betcha Can’t Transubstantiate Just One” – chris
· “Body of Satan Has More Tang Anyway” – Jessica
· “Friends Don’t Let Friends Go to Church Stoned” – Pix
· “If Jesus Wanted Us to Eat Him with Salsa, He’d Be Appearing on Tortillas…. Oh… Wait.” – ilemanzer
· “Look for the Bag Marked ‘Corpus Crispy'” – Slept thru the Sermon
· “My God Stays Crunchy in Milk” – Benedict
· “That’s What You Said about the Last Donut, Too” – SDP
· “The Next Special Ingredient on Iron Chef” – dan
· “They’re Best Served with Dogma” – zg
· “Try the Taco Bells of St. Mary’s” – jules

Click here to see the new Headline Contest

Wednesday Out-Liners

Cop to others, coming out of bodega: I was into fucking rainbows even before the gays. –Bedford & S 3rd Overheard by: Rocky Tall blue-collar guy to short blue-collar guy: So, how did your date with that guy go? Did you get any action? –Broadway Guy on cell: I still don't see how being a dude and preferring other dudes sexually makes me gay. –Q Train Hipster on cell: This isn't gay, it's revenge! –Ave C & 7th St Guy to friends, matter of factly: So apparently he went there for drugs and/or homosexual sex. –Rockefeller Center 30-something woman to another: Because she's gay, does that mean I need to pay for everything? –Central Park Overheard by: Tom Guest

What Would Anti-Semites Do without Wednesday One-Liners?

Modern orthodox girl: … And I was like, ‘Why should I be considerate? He doesn’t even keep kosher!’ –Barnard College Overheard by: Considerate of non-shellfish eaters and shellfish eaters alike Guy on cell: Well, I’m only Jewish by injection… –82nd & Madison Overheard by: I’m only Catholic because I took a pill… Woman: I think I’m just too Jewish for yoga. –Park Slope 20-ish girl on cell: I mean, Jesus Christ! The Jews in the RV just won’t leave me alone! –St. Mark’s & Ave B Overheard by: Also accosted by the mitzvah tank Man on cell: How did I pull off that deal? I’m a Jew, and that means I have powers over money that a dumb goyim like you can only dream of. It’s like Jewish superhero powers. Just call me ‘Super Jew.’ –Near Madison Square Garden Overheard by: Lesbian Whisperer Little boy: Uhhh, half New Yorkish and, uhhh, half Jewish — is that what I am, Mom? Half New Yorkish and half Jewish? –Rockefeller Center Overheard by: Rosie

Wednesday One-Liners Hope It’s Just Ketchup

Worried suit: Oh, good. I was hoping you would call. Uh yes…I’ve had bloody stool twice in the past two weeks… Yes, the blood is around it…I don’t know. What do you advise? –McGraw-Hill Building, Rockefeller Center Overheard by: HELP! I’m in the cube across from him Woman to male companion: I don’t give a shit about no fucking white people, they can suck my bloody pussy. My shit is all bloody and nasty, but I changed my drawers and shit. At least I don’t just rinse it out and hang it in front of a fan… –G Train One-eyed Armenian worker, pointing to sample bottle of Vampire wine: Would you like a taste of this wine? It’s half blood, but only the blood of pretty girls, I only drink pretty girls. –Liquor Store, 10th St & 2nd Ave MTA cop to blood drive employee: You want blood? I’ll give you blood. Just not from my arm, if you know what I mean. –Penn Station Bro: If it looks like blood, it coagulates like blood. –6 Train Girl on cell: How was Vicky’s sweet 16? [couple of seconds later] Was the blood from your nose or your ass? –36th St & Broadway, Astoria Overheard by: Cody