Archive for the ‘Rockefeller Center’ Category

If the Wednesday Fits, One-Liner It

Young thug to friends: Stop, stop, stop! Stop, seriously, stop. C'mon, I'm not kidding! Seriously. I have shoe phobia! –Metro-North Rail Guy with shoe in hand, catching up to woman who lost it: Here you go, Cinderella! –Manhattan Mall Overheard by: thorn Manager of ladies' shoe store: It's easy to close. You put the hooker boots–all this hoochie stuff, with the hooker boots, you put the flats with the flats, you put the day shoes with the day shoes. Now, Narnia over there is another story… –Macy's Overheard by: Sarah R Chick to guy: If you buy me Jimmy Choos, I'll have your baby. –Rockefeller Center Overheard by: Lets hope she'll have the baby anyway… Four-year-old girl stepping out of taxi: Mommy, can we go online to buy shoes today? –Upper West Side Overheard by: …wow.

FAQsday One-Liners

NYU girl: It's a box, though… Can you FedEx a box? –Starbucks Overheard by: Elena Tourist: So… Are we like, underground now? –NRW Train Overheard by: Stacey Mom in toy store: Do you guys have any organic play-doh? –7th Ave & Garfield, Park Slope Overheard by: persiangroove Teen tourist bimbo, looking at Rockefeller Center Christmas tree Swarovski tree topper: So, can we buy it? –Rockefeller Center Overheard by: Kaitlen 20-something girl: Wait, so what's a blog? –55th & 6th Thug on bus on cell: Yeah, I just got on the bus. How will I know when it's the third stop?
(goes on to get off on the second stop) –Roosevelt Island

Melonsday Jug-Liners

Middle-aged theatrical man, watching summer crowds: Ah! Manhattan in the summer… The hypnotic sway of the unfettered breast… –Rockefeller Center Woman on cell to friend: If I have hips this big and I haven't even had a kid, I'm getting boobs. I just want a nice round c cup! –14th St & 10th ave Overheard by: adam Girl to boyfriend, after putting cell phone in her jacket: Yeah… That's not a pocket, that's my tit. –L Train Overheard by: TR Guy on cell phone: What's up, biscuit-tits? –21st St & 5th Ave Overheard by: Steve 16-year-old girl to buxom pal: Your breasts are a personal attack on me! –F Train Overheard by: wish i was being attacked

Wednesday One-Liners Get Their Washington Square Park On

Mother, during tour: I noticed a lot of students have piercings. Can you recommend a good place around here? –NYU Grad student on cell: Hey, it's me. Tomorrow, dress appropriately. It's supposed to be 65, so I'll bring a frisbee. Afterward, I want to go to your place because there's certain things I want to do, and your place is much more (pause) conducive for certain activities. –NYU Overheard by: DrNels Girl to another: I used to drink sangria before my classes at NYU. –Rockefeller Center NYU student to friend: Man, you gotta remember, you gotta know–you have to stuff that bitch. You gotta know. –Weinstein Hall, University Place NYU law student: You know what I love about this building? It smells like a new BMW. –NYU Law Building

Wednesday One-Liner Repeats Itself

History geek: You laugh, but where would you be without the 18th century? The 20th century, not the 21st, that's where. –New York Historical Society Overheard by: Emily B. Little boy looking at book about Presidents: I see John F. Kennedy, and I see Abraham Lincoln, and I see… what's his name? Hilary's wife? –BookCourt, Brooklyn 20-something girl: There's this guy in my class who's like an Indian. But, I keep reading these things about how we were so horrible to the Indians and how there are none left, so where did he come from? Like, if there are none left, where did he come from? –Rockefeller Center Overheard by: Beth! Woman to daughter: You know what Henry VIII ruled with? He ruled with his dick! –Penn Station Teenage girl on cell, yelling: Victorian era lesbians! Not Edwardian! Lesbians weren't nearly hot enough in the Edwardian era! Yeah, we should probably watch it together. –Grand Central Overheard by: I really hope it's porn

People Who Live in Glass Houses Shouldn't Throw Wednesday One-Liners

Lady shouting into cell: Stop screaming in my ear! Stop screaming in my ear! Stop screaming in my ear! –Flatbush Ave, Prospect Heights Overheard by: Ja9 Deli cashier with heavy accent to West Indian man with heavy accent: I don't speak Jamaican! I speak English! –Crown Heights Overheard by: Holly Man on crowd: Stop shoving! There are fucking kids here, watch out, asshole! –Rockefeller Center Overheard by: Alexis Man walking with small kid on cell: Ain't no one cursing at yo! Fuck, why you got to be like that? –Union Square Overheard by: Heather Woman on cell: I just hate for people to hear my conversations in public. –Duane Reade, 34th & 8th Overheard by: Nicole

Tofu : Vegetables :: Dick Cheney : Humans

Veggie-curious girl: I like to get this really great dressing and then add all sorts of interesting vegetables.
Supportive friend: Like what?
Veggie-curious girl: Tofu! –Rockefeller Plaza Overheard by: receptionist Headline by: EddieA Runners-Up:
· “And Croutons!” – Vanessa
· “Gesundheit!” – Sandy Paws
· “If Regan Can Make Ketchup a Vegetable, Why the Fuck Not?” – Humberto
· “It’s the Other White Vegetable” – do2na
· “Sometimes I Get Crazy and Add Bacon Bits!” – Botticus
· “The Vitamin Deficiency Related Death Was Really No Surprise” – Proletariat
Click here to see the new Headline Contest

One Wednesday One-Liner to Live

Woman, pushing baby in stroller through flock of pigeons and hearing him laugh hysterically: Yeah, yeah, sometimes it's the little things in life. –76th St Overheard by: jaytro Guerrilla Top of the Rock marketer: Carpet munching can get you far in life. –Rockefeller Center Twelve-year-old girl at Tila Tequila's book signing: This is the greatest day of my life. –Barnes & Noble, Tribeca Overheard by: Helene and Kristina Short fat white woman to tall older man: Well, I really have no problem with spending life in jail. I really don't. –Father Demo Square Man, not moving: This place is draining the life out of me. –IKEA Store Overheard by: Les Izzmore Train operator: This is a life-altering bound r train. Prepare to be amazed. Next stop, Nirvana. –R Train

I'd Love To, Baby, but My Wednesday One-Liner Won't Let Me Date

Train conductor: East Broadway, welcome to Manhattan. Especially you, tourists, you put my wife on the table–I mean, uh…my food. –F Train Overheard by: penelope Petite 30-something washing clothes: Oh, no! His wife's gonna be there. I gotta get some razor blades. –Laundry Mat, Broadway & Bushwick, Brooklyn Overheard by: Matt Middle aged suit to another: So the main problem my girlfriend and I have is that I really get along with my wife. –A Train Overheard by: Suzi Thug to friend: There's just one thing I want people to say about my wife. Not that she's pretty, or that she's nice. I want them to say, "man, that nigga's wife's got a fat ass!" –Grand Concourse Cop to crowd: I suggest you use the other crosswalk, it's less congested. Stay here, risk your life…over there, save your wife! –Radio City Music Hall Man on cell: You don't love your wife?! (pause) Fuck you! –42nd St & 7th Ave Overheard by: Amina