Archive for the ‘Rockefeller Center’ Category

Wednesday One-Liners Are Bringin' Sexy Barack

Security guy to suit: Why do you all feel like congratulating me for his win? Just cause I'm black doesn't mean I should be congratulated. Why do you keep doing that? What the fuck did I do?

–Rockefeller Center

Overheard by: pop pop

little boy to father: When are the bad people leaving the White House so Obama can be President?

–Grocery Store, 71st & 1st Ave

Overheard by: Rena

FedEx guy to shipping clerk: Obama's gonna go uptown and say, "that's right, niggas, I'z here!"

–W 26th & 6th Ave

Angry black woman on cell: Excuse me! Obama is our President now and I won't be calling you "massa" anymore. You understand?

–Worth & Broadway

Middle-aged black man sitting at bus stop: Not "yo mama," not "Osama," "Obama!" They should paint the White House black. No…that would be irresponsible. Maybe caramel.

–125th St & 7th Ave

Overheard by: Nicole

Hobo: Ladies and gentlemen, may I have your attention please. I want to wish you all a dry, cozy, Obama weekend. Now could you please spare some change for a hungry man? (young black man gives him change) Now that is an Obama voter. (looks around at white people) I will also accept change from McCain voters.

–Uptown 1 Train

Overheard by: Steph

Guy on phone, announcing to the bar: My baby can say "Obama"!

–Lucky Jack's, Orchard St

Overheard by: Karin

It's Not Delivery, It's Wednesday One-Liners

Chunky lady to skinny friend who ordered a Diet Coke: Bitch, I will slap the shit out of you with this pizza…I'll eat it, too. I don't even care.

–14th St b/w 3rd & 4th Ave

Wasted guy, placing order: A slice of pizza on the rocks.

–1st Ave & 20th St

Overweight Paris Hilton wannabe, loudly on cell: No, the food wasn't like, out of this world, like what I'm used to. No…not really. I'd say more like a touch of Greece–with maybe Turkish or Egyptian. I mean, it's almost impossible to find a good slice of pizza in the city nowadays.

–Crowded LIRR Train

Overheard by: CV

little girl to parents: I like mine with salt, pepper and bone.

–La Rocca's Pizzaria, Staten Island

Overheard by: Dawn D.

Female suit to friends: Oh no, I can't. I save my pizza binge-eating for when I'm drunk.

–Ave of the Americas

Overheard by: Duncan Pflaster

Tourist: Oooh, there's a really good pizza place down here somewhere, Sbarro.

–Basement, Rockefeller Center

Overheard by: pop pop

Six-year-old to friends: We should have an Obama pizza party!

–Park Slope

Where in the Wednesday One-Liners Is Carmen Sandiego?

Guy on cell: I'm at the corner of West 4th Street and West 12th Street. Which sounds completely ridiculous, I know.

–Outside Cubbyhole

Girl on cell with boyfriend: Yeah, we got lost… We're somewhere in Yonkers.

–Bleecker & W 10th St

Loud tourist on cell: I'm in Rockefeller Plaza. Just look for a guy with a Starbucks cup.

–Rockefeller Plaza

Overheard by: linda

Blonde on cell: Yeah, I'm in the 'hood.

–SoHo

Overheard by: Ladle

Woman on cell, directing friend to find her: Do you see a really tall man holding an umbrella up high? I'm near a really tall man holding an umbrella. …he's very attractive.

–Concert on The Great Lawn

Overheard by: sternie

Suit on cell: Unfortunately I'm in the Financial District right now… Man, I wanna come up there and make love to both of you.

–Financial District

Yo Quiero Wednesday One-Liners

Woman to male teacher: I thought you were a middle aged Latino woman.

–Fordham University, Lincoln Center

Overheard by: Alex and Colin

Chubby Latino: I don't want to go there. It'll just be a bunch of angry Dominicans throwing tables.

–Cooper Park, Williamsburg

Overheard by: Confabulation Nation

Drunken lady, sitting uninvited at a Hispanic family table: Cinco cuatro cinco… en Chicago. I have a business at 545 Chicago. In Chicago. I am a successful woman. Stay in school, sweetie. Learn your math and arithmetic… Yes, your math, and your arithmetic. And be good to your mommy. You only have one mommy, so be good to her. Alright, ciao, guys. Adios, coco! What? A cab? No, no, I'm fine.

–Pio Pio Restaurant, 91st & 1st

Overheard by: HJWC

Hasidic Jew answering cell: Hola? Hola? Hola!

–30 Rock

Overheard by: Micky

Bespectacled man on cell, walking a dog: And I owe it all to the politically incorrect Frito Bandito.

–Bryant Park

How Do You Get a Flyer Guy to Shut Up? Discuss

Flyer guy: Rainbow room! Discount admission! Observatory! Rainbow room!
(goth chick unbuttons her shirt)
Flyer guy
: Rainbow room… Uh…

(goth chick reveals a Batman t-shirt)
Flyer guy, recovering
: Discount admission! Observatory!

Goth chick (in menacing voice): I'm Batman.
Flyer guy: Rainbow room! Discount admission! Batman! We got batman in Gotham! Observatory! Rainbow room! Batman! Discount admission!

–Rockefeller Plaza

Overheard by: Rose Fox

At the End Of the Day, It's All About Big Bits

(about the Sex and the City movie)
Woman #1
: Yeah, I never saw the series but I think I'll still understand the movie.

Woman #2: Oh, yeah. I watched the whole series 'til the end.
Woman #1: Which one's Carrie?
Woman #2: Sarah Parker is Carrie. Yeah, and she was with this guy for a loooooong time. A loooong long time.
Woman #1: Yeah?
Woman #2: Yeah, they call him “Mista bits.”
Woman #1: What do they call him?
Woman #2: Mista bits.

–Downtown E Train

Overheard by: E