Archive for the ‘Rumor Has It’ Category

The Gentlemen Callers of Wednesday One-Liners

Hipster chick: … And I was like, ‘I want a boyfriend!’ and God was like, ‘Hello!’

–43rd & 6th

Lady on cell: You’ll have to get a Hispanic boyfriend. Or someone ethnic… Go out with the Jew!

–49th & 8th

Bus driver: No phones on the bus. I don’t care if you got problems with your mother, or your brother, or girlfriend got a problem with boyfriend, or boyfriend got a problem with girlfriend, or girlfriend-girlfriend, or boyfriend-boyfriend, or just you got a sad, pathetic life, because other passengers do not like to hear those things. And if you sleep, leave your shoes on — people take their shoes off, it smells like fish market.

–Port Authority, Greyhound to Philadelphia

Ghetto girl: This weekend I found out that my boyfriend had a wife, and my dad got hit on by another man.

–6 train

20-ish chick: Remember when I used to call my fuck-buddy the ‘I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter’ of boyfriends?

–Apartment party, 113th & Broadway

Overheard by: Ladle

Lady on cell: Did you see that girl’s butt today?! Did you see her butt?! Ewww! It was like my boyfriend’s!

–John St

Where the Meth Comes Sweepin’ Down the Plain

Bimbette: Not a lot of people do meth anymore. It’s like one in ten million.
Guy: What?! It’s like the crack of the Midwest. Everyone does it.
Bimbette: No, it only seems like that because they’re all in one state.
Guy: Which one?
Bimbette: Oklahoma.

–Brooklyn Tech

Overheard by: Is Kathy Ireland, the designer, one of them?