36-year-old bald clubster: There's no way you're 36. I'm 36, and there's just no way.
36-year-old woman: No! Really, I am.
36-year-old bald clubster: What did you do–make a deal with the devil?
36-year-old woman: We've talked.
–Union Square
Overheard by: birdie
Archive for the ‘Satan’ Category
Dildo and Crack Shopping, Mothafuckaaa!
Old man with sign reading “sinners without faith are going to hell”: Do you know where you're going?
Hot girl: Yeah, old man…I'm going shopping.
–W 53rd St
Overheard by: Melissa Platt
We'll Wear Pleated Khakis and Have Sex With Women for All Eternity
Gay guy #1: I shouldn't have told them about it.
Gay guy #2: Oh, don't feel bad. We're both going to hell anyway.
–1 Train
And I Did Promise to Stop Being a Weirdo
Crazy, loud hobo on train, repeating: “Jesus” is a six letter word! “666″ means the devil! So, Jesus is the devil!
Fed-up passenger: Hey asshole, “Jesus” is 5 letters, not six!
Crazy hobo, pensive: Well, shit, there goes my whole argument.
–5 Train
Hella Good Wednesday One-Liners
Twitchy dude to no one in particular: What? You selling something? What you selling? You all are devils! Devil worshipers! Bunch of devil worshipers! Devils, devils, devils! See you in hell! Oh…I won't be there, though.
–C Train
Hipster girl on cell: No, the black marks are from me cheating on you with Satan. (pause) Yeah, now I'm pregnant and he won't marry me.
–23rd & 5th
Overheard by: Louisa
Young guy on cell, about video game: I gave them my soul. I gave them my soul! See, my soul legally belongs to you, so you tricked them. (pause) Give him his soul! Give him his soul! What? What? Too late!
–93rd St, Bay Ridge
Screaming man with ashes on forehead to man walking past on Ash Wednesday: You're going to hell you motherfucker!
–Penn Station
Overheard by: BK
Woman on cell: Satan don't wear no panties, negro. That shit flies free.
–Astoria, Queens
Overheard by: Celia
An Overpriced Studio Apartment with No Windows?
Little boy, pointing to staircase leading to basement: Daddy, what's downstairs?
Dad: Hell.
–Clothing Store, NoHo
Otherwise You Get an “Invalid Prayer” Error
Eleven-year-old tourist: I heard that there was a church here in New York that worships Satan.
Tourist father: Well, that doesn't make sense, because you cannot worship Satan, you can only worship Jesus.
–9th Ave & 47th St
How to Get a Promotion at The O'Reilly Factor
Man being introduced to teenager: So, what was your name ag…
Interrupting man, holding a large pamphlet: Want to stick your foot up the devil's ass?
–St. Mark's Place
Overheard by: flmngarrow
Like Satan Claus, For Example
Woman to toddler: The devil is evil. That's why his name is spelled “d-evil”.
–Greyhound Bus
Just Like Buddha Was the Easter Bunny.
Girl #1, about street preacher: Oh my god, I cannot believe he said Jesus was the devil.
Girl #2: I know! Jesus was Moses. Duh.
–Times Square
Overheard by: joanna