Archive for the ‘Scents of the City’ Category

Do They Make a Glade Plug-In for Wednesday One-Liners?

Little girl, running along platform: Mommy! Mommy! Slow down! Mommy, it smells like penis in here! –Grand Central Girl to another: Do you have a hand wipe? I totally smell like rape right now. –44th St & Broadway Guy to friend: She said I smelled like shit and I said, "what like, asshole?" –59th St & Lexington Girl on phone: Your hands smell like what? Your hands smell like urine? Why would you say that? –Brooklyn College Hobo on overcrowded train: Ladies and gentlemen, my name is Homeless Ed, and I am homeless, and I smell like shit. If any of you can spare some change so I can buy some deodorant, it would be greatly appreciated. –Downtown A Train Overheard by: christopher james Female grad student on cell: Have you ever done the inter-borough walk of shame smelling like penis? –Columbia University Overheard by: Ladle Conductor: This is East Broadway station, and something smells yummy. –F Train

Wednesday One-Liners in Smell-O-Vision

Hipster girl: I’d rather face the stigma of buying feminine hygiene products than face the stigma of having a stinky hoo-ha. –13th St & 5th Ave Overheard by: agreed Girl: Remember Diana? Stinky Diana? She’s back, and she’s getting married. –West 47th & 8th Ave Overheard by: Peter G Chick: If I’m going to play beer pong, I need to be fragrant. –Sammy’s, 11th St & 6th Ave Overheard by: McF Little boy to dad: I don’t want to go to Africa! I don’t want to smell the camels! –5th Ave & Park Pl, Park Slope Voice on intercom: The Children’s Section is closed due to… that smell. –NY Public Library, East 96th St Overheard by: Diane Chick: So, did you smell your toilet paper? –MoMA cafe Overheard by: Sweettart

Wednesday One-Liners Are Enough to Gag a Maggot

Nurse to hobo next to her: Aw, hell no! You fucking stink! [She pulls out a can of air freshener and hoses him down.] –A train Asian kid to another: It’s hard and watery, and if my pockets reek of ass, I’ma kill you! –D train, Brooklyn Overheard by: sitting behind them Little boy: Now I know why it smells like urine everywhere! –Central Park Man: It smells like an STD in here. –E train Irish lad: A man’s baseball cap should always stink a wee bit. –U-Haul rental place, Broadway Overheard by: Kerry