Archive for the ‘Scents of the City’ Category

A Premium Cut Of Grade-A Wednesday One-Liner

Girl to boyfriend, after taking deep breath: Can you smell that? It's like the ghost of meats past!

–10th Ave, Meatpacking District

Suit: Turkey-bacon? How did you guys get them in one meat?

–Grand Central Place

Young lady to another: And then we were all treated to sausages…

–E. Houston & Bowery

Overheard by: Luke McPartlin

Five-year-old boy to bewildered mother: We're gonna go work for a giant meatball!

–86th St & Lexington

Distraught-looking white woman to boyfriend: I just wish I'd gotten the more expensive steak. (boyfriend nods sympathetically)

–Upper East Side

Wednesday One-Liners Get Their Washington Square Park On

Mother, during tour: I noticed a lot of students have piercings. Can you recommend a good place around here?

–NYU

Grad student on cell: Hey, it's me. Tomorrow, dress appropriately. It's supposed to be 65, so I'll bring a frisbee. Afterward, I want to go to your place because there's certain things I want to do, and your place is much more (pause) conducive for certain activities.

–NYU

Overheard by: DrNels

Girl to another: I used to drink sangria before my classes at NYU.

–Rockefeller Center

NYU student to friend: Man, you gotta remember, you gotta know–you have to stuff that bitch. You gotta know.

–Weinstein Hall, University Place

NYU law student: You know what I love about this building? It smells like a new BMW.

–NYU Law Building

Wednesday One-Liners Make Your Eyes Water

Young man to another: And I was like, "No, man. A girl ain't supposed to smell like that, yo."

–Broadway & 37th St

Overheard by: glm

Loud Long Island woman to drunk friends: Yeah, I got really used to that smell once he came back from Nepal…

–LIRR

Guy to girl: I don't want to bring home a girl who smells like urine.

–36th & 5th

Hipster 20-something to preteen sister: This does not smell like Costa Rica! (pauses, as though to make sure) 14th Street in New York City does not smell like Costa Rica!

–14th St & 7th Ave

Overheard by: David

Man complaining to friend: If she does that one more time… I mean, if that bitch comes home one more time with her breath smelling like some other guy's dick, I swear to fucking god… I'll leave her.

–Times Square

Overheard by: drekdude

It's a Vicious Cycle.

Ghetto girl #1: I just stepped on a piece of dogshit on my way to work. Now what the hell am I supposed to do?
Ghetto girl #2: Spray some perfume on your shoes.
Ghetto girl #1: I already tried that, and Britney's new perfume ain't strong enough!
Ghetto girl #2: Well, then rub it in shit again!

–Broadway b/w Maiden Lane & Liberty