Archive for the ‘School and studying’ Category

Shall We Consult Our Biology Textbooks?

Guy, looking at historic buildings: This is the kind of thing they should have taught us in school.
Girl: Yeah, there's a lot of things that schools didn't teach us.
Guy: I think a bug just flew into my nose.
Girl: What?
Guy: It's squirming around in there. It's really uncomfortable. I don't know what to do about it. –Governor's Island Overheard by: Kevin

Wednesday One-Liner’s Parents Used the TV as a Sitter

Hard hat: This is my idea, okay? Seriously, don’t try and steal it, because I think I can make this happen. Ready? The Fab Five visit Dog the Bounty Hunter’s show, and they give Dog and his whole crew a makeover. –Construction site, 26th & 6th Overheard by: Big Perm Black aesthetician, discussing Flavor of Love: I know that show’s gonna set my people back 50 years, but I just gotta watch it. –Staff room, NYC Day Spa, 57th between 5th & 6th Overheard by: massage therapist lurking nearby Jock: Last night we were so wasted we got naked and mounted the ram….and then watched Fraggle Rock. –Rose Hill Cafeteria, Fordham College student: Watching Dawson’s Creek is like studying for the SATs. –St. John’s University Nerdy teen: Oh my God, a refrigerator with a television in it. My life’s dream has just been realized. –Best Buy, 23rd & 6th Overheard by: nicolette Amateur media scholar: It’s not called Lost because they’re lost. It’s called Lost because the audience can’t follow it. –R train 20-Something guy to his date: But if you don’t have a television, how do you watch porn? –Koi, 40th & 6th Overheard by: UniqueNY

M4M Wednesday One-Liners

Teenager: Do you know where the Gay Pride Parade is?… I’m not gay! –Astor Place Guy: And so, this one gay guy in your office was wearing these pants, and his fly was open and this straight guy could see his penis, or some shit like that, right? –9th St, Park Slope Queer on cell: You really think she’s into gay guys? –NYU Guy, pointing to gay hipster: That’s like “I like it in the bum” written in hair. –Peculier Pub, Bleecker St Overheard by: Mad Mom, to young son: It’s not a matter of being gay or not, darling. I just won’t let you participate in your school play. –Broadway Girl: Well, I couldn’t really sing the last part. We were both on our backs with our legs wide open. The only redeeming fact is that he was gay! –Corbin Plaza, Brighton Beach Overheard by: Anti-Traffic Girl Flamboyant tween boy: I hate health class! You know what I’m going to do in health class today? I’m going to tell the teacher I’m gay! And that I like to suck dick! –5th Ave, Park Slope

I’m Thankful for My Family

Little boy: Twain!
Mom: Yeah, yeah, train, Darniel, train. Nobody cares! –Prospect Heights Overheard by: Michael Barthel Mother: Did you do these questions or was this the part you copied from the board in class?…What the fuck was that? Speak in actual words!
Little boy: This part was from the board and this part I did.
Mother: Don’t fucking lie to me. I’m gonna bust you in the mouth. Why didn’t you do your homework?…Did you look at yourself before we left the house? You look like fucking shit!
Little boy: I’m sorry.
Mother: Sorry looking. –F train Man on cell: You stupid little bitch!…That’s right I want a better report card next year. –West 4th Street & 6th Avenue Overheard by: Scott Hoffman Teen girl: I’m not allowed to go home this weekend ’cause my father’s having one of his girlfriends over. He told me, “you’re gonna have to sleep somewhere else, because, uh, you know…” –A train Little girl: Mommy, what’re we getting?
Mommy: Pshh, I don’t know. You better figure out quick, you’re the one’s gotta eat. –Fine Fair, Avenue C Overheard by: Catechist Boy: Did you get my Christmas list?
Dad: I don’t need your Christmas list.
Boy: I want a PSP. A portable Playstation.
Dad: I’m not gettin’ you video games.
Boy: Then I just want money.
Dad: You want my money, I want you to get good grades. Neither of us get what we want, do we? –6 train Overheard by: Chris Mohney