Archive for the ‘School’ Category

Wednesday One-Liners Strike Hard and Fade Away Without a Trace

Undergrad: Ninjas, see. You can’t creep up on them. You can’t creep up on them because actually they’re creeping up on you. And the person you’re creeping up on is actually a mendicant. –Fordham University, Lincoln Center Overheard by: pumpkin Teen girl to friend: No one knows about Staten Island. It’s like the ninja island. –Notre Dame Academy, Staten Island Overheard by: Green Star Young lady suit on cell: Want to know what I learned today? Okay, you know how I really hate those rolling briefcases because they fucking ninja you while you’re walking? Well, today I learned that it’s really hard to be angry about a rolling briefcase when it’s being pulled by a genuine midget. It’s like watching a pony pull a cart. It’s adorable! –Penn Station Overheard by: she wasn’t too tall herself… Geeky girl: They should really make a video game about a ninja doing the dishes. That shit would be dope. –Flatiron District

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Wednesday One-Liners and Tigers and Bears–Oh, My!

Young woman to another: But do you know how big a horse dick is? –5th Ave & Carroll, Park Slope Girl: I'm really tired. I'm, like, an animal activist right now. –Parking Lot, Broadway Mall Overheard by: Lysa Student: I'm not that sensitive. I can watch those videos where they like, torture the animal or whatever, and then I'll go eat it. –Cardozo Law School Asian girl: Does this make me look like a sad Panda? –NYU Dining Hall Columbia girl: I'd never have asked if I knew he was the one who'd killed it. But I didn't suspect him. Who'd spend their time strangling a gerbil? –Columbia University Overheard by: Who'd have thought? Guido to friend: Yo, it smells like a skunk burped up a hot dog. –Penn Station Lady on speaker: If you have an animal, please do not put it through the X-ray. –LaGuardia Airport

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I’ve Always Wanted to Be a Master Baker

Teenage girl #1 (talking about an upcoming exam): I plan on baking some cupcakes tonight and giving them to Mr Collins* to bribe him.
Teenage girl #2: Good plan… I plan on baking him a handjob.
Teenage girl #1: He seems like a cupcake kind of guy. And a handjob kind of guy. –Brooklyn Friends School Overheard by: sounds delicious

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May/December Wednesday One-liners

Girl: Man, this old dyke is digging on me, but I want some penis
these days. –3rd between B & C Guy: Man, old pussy is the best! She has 50 years of dick sucking experience. –124th & Manhattan Overheard by: Jason Steinhauer Queer on cell: Ever since I lost my hair I’ve had 20 year olds chasing me around like I’m an ice cream cone. –LIRR Overheard by: Squatporpoise Girl: Oh yeah, that guy you saw me with Sunday? He lets me watch him have sex with boys. –NYU School of social work Overheard by: Maggie

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