Archive for the ‘School’ Category

Cromulent Wednesday One-liners

Guy: Yeah, they say that now in France they’re banning Muslim women from wearing overalls. –Hunter College Overheard by: H. Chan Black woman on cell: …and then she says to me “I like that song!” and I go, “Yeah, well I like fish and avocado peels.” –Port Authority Overheard by: Fernando Taveras Guy: If you was dead, then you’d know what I’m talkin’ ’bout. –J train

I Think I’m for It

Senior girl #1: So, what is that ‘Derfer’ thing I keep seeing all those signs about?
Senior girl #2: What?
Senior girl #1: You know, Derfer — D-A-R-F-U-R
Senior girl #2: Dare-fyore? Hmmm, I don’t know.
Senior girl #1: Whatever. Anyways…

–Townsend Harris High

Just Wait ‘Til We Get to the Fungus Unit and I Give You All Lapdances!

HS teacher with PhD, looking in stereo microscope at spores: Oh no, you won’t be able to see the hermaphrodites fully, they’re not sexually mature yet. [Dances around.]
Student: Umm… Okay.
HS teacher with PhD, clapping hands: What you’ve got there is some sexually frustrated spores [keeps dancing, moves to next station, fiddles around with knobs] Ooh, ooh, your spores haven’t come yet, but they’ll look like mittens when they do.
[Student bursts into muffled laughing.]
HS teacher with PhD
: I know, aren’t spores fascinating? Are you laughing at my dancing?… Because biology just gets me so excited!


–Notre Dame Academy H.S., Staten Island

It’s All About Rita Now, MTV Generation

Twin girl #A: Yeah, she said she was going to do the school year here.
Unique girl: She came from Kentucky? Why did she come so far?
Twin girl #B: Louisiana is a state. Kentucky is another state.
Unique girl: Oh, well why’d she come to New York? Couldn’t she stay in her house in Louisiana?
Twin girl #A: Um, no, a hurricane hit New Orleans. That’s why she’s here.
Unique girl: Right, right. I forgot about that. –Kew Gardens station