Archive for the ‘Science’ Category

They Have Stuff Lots of Places

Yuppie chick #1: So, I went to the Museum of Natural History yesterday.
Yuppie chick #2: You wanted to go to the Museum of Natural History?
Yuppie chick #1: Yeah.
Yuppie chick #2: Why?
Yuppie chick #1: ‘Cause they have stuff there.
Yuppie chick #2: You know, I’ve never been to the Museum of Natural History. What kind of stuff do they have there?
Yuppie chick #1: You know, like, natural science stuff… A lot of the stuff there, though, was for little kids.
Yuppie chick #2: Yeah, I wouldn’t go there. Who wants to see natural science stuff?
Yuppie chick #1: Yeah, I mostly thought it was stupid.

–Utopia Diner, 72nd & Amsterdam

Overheard by: Cultured New Yorker

She Blinded Wednesday-One-Liners with Science

Teen thug: You know, if you put’em on hot they dry faster. On hot the clothes dry faster.

–Kingsland Ave & Jackson Ave., Willamsburg

Overheard by: confabulation nation


Hipster on cell
: She thinks the entire world revolves around her. What is she, the sun?


–Union Square


Would-be physicist
: Did you ever hear of magnetic repulsion? Because I swear to god that door has an eastern pole or something.


–Walgreens Drugstore, Union Square

Overheard by: kbot


Guy
: So, you’ve dissected cats before?


–Lafayette & Centre St

Overheard by: Janelle


Loud chick
: So I was looking on the Internet to learn more about our planet and biodiversity and shit, and there’s like five more extinctions supposed to happen! You know, like the dinosaurs and shit!


–Ray’s Pizza, E Houston

Overheard by: just visiting!


Soccer mom
: He has had some really hard social studies stuff… Like why the seasons change and the how the earth moves around the sun.


–Warren Fields, Murray & West Side Highway

Overheard by: Soccer Nanny


I Veto You.

Big girl #1: But the President is not in charge of every state!
Big girl #2: No, but lemme tell you how it works. Cuz lotsa peoples don't know. The President make laws but he can't do nothing unless the Senate vetoes it. I was in political science.

–188th St & Hillside

Wednesday One-Liners Heart Meerkats

Pretty 20-something girl: I might reconsider if there is a horse involved.

–Manhattan Beach

Overheard by: The Tutors

Girl to friend: Look at sociology. Look at the animals. That totally explains it. It is just like the animals, sociology explains everything.

–West 4th & Washington Square Park

Overheard by: Darci

Woman to man: Because I'd really like to understand what makes a good toreador and what makes a bad toreador.

–70th St & 3rd Ave

Overheard by: Lisa B.

Girl who was just handed an anti-bird-porn flyer: I have never even seen birds mating. Now I am intrigued.

–Hair Rush Line Central Park

Overheard by: Krysta

Pet store clerk to customer: I don't know what flavor it is. It's turtle food. It's what they eat.

–Flushing Petland Discount

Park janitor to pigeons: I need all's you guys to be flappin' yo' wings and help me be cleanin' up these leaves. (pigeons coo, janitor starts cooing with them)

–Clinton & Congress, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Was a good impression

Wednesday One-Liners: The Final Frontier

Crazy man dressed like a King: Everyone, I just bought the sun! So if you don't mind, I'd like a hundred dollars an hour if you're using my sunlight.

–Sheep Meadow, Central Park

MTA track worker to another: Why does everybody wanna die tonight, Eric? Is there a full moon or something?

–49th St Station

Overheard by: Jon A.

Man talking to himself on imaginary cellphone: There will never be peace until the planet explodes. Then there will be peace. (pause) Yes, I took my medication today.

–R Train

Overheard by: Matt Giella

Guy in line for a play: I don't take my sunglasses off because the sun never sets on a badass

–41st & 7th

Overheard by: clara

Teen thug to another: He said he likes sunsets. Who says he likes sunsets?

–Macon & Marcy, Brooklyn

Overheard by: g

Co-ed: And Galileo's like, "Saturn has rings!" And Kepler's like, "Oh my god, really?" And Galileo's like, "Ya, really!"

–1 Train

Overheard by: Rose Fox