Archive for the ‘Science’ Category

Especially When It Predicts a Black Hole at the Big Bang

Good looking brunette: Yeah, then we talked about physics.
Intrigued girl pal: Oh, really? Why?
Good looking brunette: Not sure, but I remember it turned me on.
Intrigued girl pal: Oh…
(awkward silence)
Hot guy pal: (nods head)
Good looking brunette: What? I really like physics! Its the math… I really like math. –Park Ave Overheard by: angela

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I Veto You.

Big girl #1: But the President is not in charge of every state!
Big girl #2: No, but lemme tell you how it works. Cuz lotsa peoples don't know. The President make laws but he can't do nothing unless the Senate vetoes it. I was in political science. –188th St & Hillside

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Hey, I Saw the Crude Sketches in the Boys' Restroom Way Before That

(class is watching a science video)
Scientist in the video: The problem with the big bang is that we know nothing about it. We don't when it banged, why it banged, how it banged, what exactly was being banged…
(entire class laughs)
Smart-ass student: See, when a man loves a woman…
Smarter-ass student: Please, as if you didn't just learn that last year in bio! –Stuyvesant High School

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Domo Arigato, Mr. Wednesday One-Liner

Nine-year-old boy: Sometimes I just think I am a robot. I mean, aren't I a robot? –E 17th & Broadway Overheard by: definitely human Tall guy: Yeah, you have to learn not to trust those shifty-eyed robots. –Union Square Hipster: And, like, he wasn't even gay… he was just not human. –88th & Park Comic book guy: No, not Optimus Prime. But yes, I have had sexual thoughts… about robots. –40th & 7th Cute chick: You don't need a sex robot to have sex with a robot. –Old Town Bar Overheard by: Lieut. Liplock

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In Days of Old, Just a Glimpse of Them Was Looked on As Something Shocking

American-born Indian guy with cream colored bell bottoms tucked in a paisley shirt: There's something about fob-y girls from Asia that is so sexy–they wear stockings.
Filipino American girls #1 and #2: Uhh, what?
American-born Indian guy: Yeah! There are studies that have been done on it, like by Duke University. It's like 20 pages long. Look it up. –Prince & Elizabeth Overheard by: based on what you're wearing, ONLY girls wearing stockings would find YOU sexy

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PETA-Approved Wednesday One-Liners

HS boy to two friends: Dude, you’d be surprised how many vegetarians are into meaty chicks. –E train Man eating salad: Vegetarians should be evolutionarily punished. –Small diner, Chinatown Girl to friend: Hey, do you think that the reason he doesn’t like oral sex is because he’s vegan? [Friend is silent.] Yeah, I’m pretty sure that’s it. –112th, between Broadway & Amsterdam Overheard by: Gigi Cougar dining with pals: I’m an animal-lover, so I’m going to get the fish. –Rue 57, 57th & 6th Crazy woman: Vegetarians have better sex! –F/V train stop, Houston & 1st Ave Overheard by: So, no hot beef injection? Woman handing out leaflets for veganism: Come on, come on! Vegans have better sex! No, really — try me! –Columbus Circle Overheard by: What is she trying to sell here?

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