Bag Check Guy: I’m so scared of mice here now that I’m thinking of tucking my pants into my socks. –The Strand
Bag check guy: I want your bag.
Comic book chick: Pardon?
Bag check guy: You know the rules. Give me your bag.
Comic book chick: Sorry, I didn’t know I had to check this.
Bag check guy: What did you think, that I’m just some crazy black man sitting up here harassing people?
Comic book chick: Could be.
Bag check guy: That’s true. –Forbidden Planet, 13th Street
Walkie Talkie: Style for Lori. You’ve got a guest freaking out upstairs. Get up here. –Style Court Plaintiff Room
Foreign tourist to security guard: Excuse me, where is Central Park?
St. Patrick's security guard: Central Park? Ooooh, that's like up at 110th Street. You're real far…
–St. Patrick's Cathedral
Guy to security guard: We're not fucking tourists, man, we're just trying to get back to our home in Jersey.
Overheard by: Confabulation Nation
Metrosexual guy: There are two kinds of people I will never, ever, date. One are people who are culturally ignorant. The second is people from New Jersey.
–45th & 5th
Overheard by: Mr. Pink
Proper British woman to loud drunk guy: Go back to Jersey!
–BB King Concert, Christ United Church
Overheard by: bb
Uptight 40-something white guy: I can't wait to get safely back in New Jersey!
Overheard by: JoshBob
Security guard: Oh, man, thank god for anti-depressants and alcohol! Nothing like Jack Daniels to get you through the day.
Building security guard to mailman: Don't you think tv saved the world? Say you've got 10, 12, 14, 16 kids . . .
–William & Beekman
NYU security guard to long line of kids: A'ight kids, e-z passes out. Put your IDs in the air and wave them like you just don't care!
–College of Arts and Science, Washington Square Park
Security man: No photos in Tim Burton! No pictures, no photos! Tell a friend, tell a neighbor, tell someone you don't like!
–Tim Burton Exhibit, MoMA
Security guard: Have a nice day… Now get the hell out of here.
Tourists: How do we get to the tour of ground zero?
Security guard: See that window across the street? Go up those stairs and over, and you can look down at it if you want.
Asian man: What seems to be the problem?
Security official: Other than the fact that your passport and your ticket have two completely different names on them, nothing.
Guard: Your key card doesn't work.
Teenager: It's because I'm black.
Black woman: How do you get fucked up on wine?
Black security officer: I drink that shit like it's Kool-Aid!
Overheard by: Ohhh Yeah!