Archive for the ‘Security Guards’ Category

Scrooge McDuck’s Wednesday One-Liners

Fashionista to another: It didn’t taste that good, but I really needed the money. –Madison Ave Overheard by: John Galt Jr. Fashion student: The thing I can’t stand about fine arts is how obsessed with money it’s become… Yeah, so I’m leaving the program to study advertising. –Whole Foods, Union Square Overheard by: nova scotia Security guard to another: I ain’t here for the money. I’m here for the fuckin’ prestige. –Westminster Dog Show, Madison Square Garden Overheard by: Amber Star White chick on cell: Hi, honey! How are you? Are you being tickled by coins? Are you being tickled by coins?! –LaGuardia Airport Overheard by: mela Guy on corner: Can you spare any change or frequent flyer miles? –14th & 6th Overheard by: Scientific Frumpy lady to Joey Ramone lookalike: I’m feeling awfully constipated, baby! Constipated with money is the way I like to be! –3rd Ave, Bay Ridge

Check Your Attitude While You’re At It

Bag check guy: I want your bag.
Comic book chick: Pardon?
Bag check guy: You know the rules. Give me your bag.
Comic book chick: Sorry, I didn’t know I had to check this.
Bag check guy: What did you think, that I’m just some crazy black man sitting up here harassing people?
Comic book chick: Could be.
Bag check guy: That’s true. –Forbidden Planet, 13th Street