Archive for the ‘Sensory Experiences’ Category

Blow It Out Your Wednesday One-Liner

Well-dressed British man on cell, as he walks oddly: Listen girl, I farted so hard yesterday I blasted half my ass off. (pause) No, seriously! I am still walking funny! –24th St b/w 6th & 7th Overheard by: Joseph Teenage boy to another: One time this hot bitch farted on my lap, and I didn't know what to do. –12th St & University Place Crazy hobo sitting on blanket: I used to wear underwear, but then I farted and left a stain, so decided no more. Can anyone spare any change? –87th & Broadway Overheard by: Nynanny Girl from Louisiana: What can I say? I'm a Southern girl. I fart crawfish. –McLean Ave, Yonkers Woman on phone: Well, the romance is out of my life: this morning Greg came in my mouth, then straight away leaned back and farted. –Beard St & Van Brunt St, Brooklyn Overheard by: craig hunter

The JDating Of Wednesday One-Liners

JAP girl on line: Why would I be boogieing at temple? –H&M Overheard by: Sandjiggie Redhead JAP: It's too bright, I can't hear you… –41st & 3rd JAP: Is saving the whales still, like, a thing? –F Train 20-something JAP on cell: I mean: I don't want to say that I live in a bubble, but the only people I've spoken to in the last week and a half are you and my doorman. –42nd St & Lexington Overheard by: Pete

Wednesday Funbag-Liners

Teenage girl: Ohmigod. Doesn't she know that the "having big boobs" thing is, like, not in anymore? –86th St Overheard by: Kevin Girl to another: It splashed on my boob… Then he slurped it off! –Charles & 4th Overheard by: Eric 20-something guy, singing: I wanna touch some boobs. I wanna touch some boobs. I wanna touch some boobs. I wanna find my motherfucking sock, 'cause I don't know where it is. I wanna touch some boobs… –Pratt Institute Angry hobo to college chick with big boobs zipping up her jacket: Don't put them titties away! –5th & 21st Elderly woman to husband: I keep my business in my bosom! –Carnegie Deli

Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle Of Wednesday One-Liner!

Dude in full garb on Halloween, clearly losing the argument to his friends: But it's not a foreign object to a pirate! –East Village Overheard by: chris k Girl wearing duct tape cat ears on the fountain in Columbus Circle: I have been crowned the pirate queen! –Columbus Circle Guy in business casual to woman in business casual: Yeah, that's the thing about parrots. If they smell smoke and you open their cage, they are outta there. Screw that pirate. –Uptown 3 Train Young woman on cell: Those pirates are soooo thin. –9th Ave & 47th St

Well, It Is the Number Two Train

(a very obnoxious, lingering fart was dropped and filled the entire car during rush hour)
Teen girl to friend: Ohmigod! Let’s get out of here, it smells like shit!
Old man, five minutes later: What’s the matter with you fucking people? Somebody open up a god damned window! –2 Train