Young woman on the subway to her friend: “It WAS incest! Can you imagine if your brother slept with your mother? UGH!!!”
Puerto Rican Teenager #1 in Williamsburg: “Hey, calling someone else gay means that you’re gay!” Puerto Rican Teenager #2: “Are you calling me gay? ARE YOU CALLING ME GAY? I’m not gay! Bring any woman out here right now, and I will fuck her in front of you all, in front of the world. Anyone. Do it, right now! I will show the whole world that I am not gay! Do you hear me? Do you hear me? I AM NOT GAY!”
Guy #1: Do you think you could ever date her?
Guy #2: I don’t know.
Guy #1: Why not?
Guy #2: I can’t picture myself having sex with her. –Tower Records, 66th & Broadway Overheard by: Josh Caldwell
Woman: Having sex with him was the same as eating a slice of plain Wonder bread while looking in the window of a Crate and Barrel. –York & 70th
Woman: He’s so horny he’d fuck a venetian blind. –Starbucks, UES
Guy: So let me get this straight. First, you sleep with my brother, then you get pregnant, then– –LES Partially Overheard by: Matty Sallin
Dad: So what did you learn in school today?
Son: Ummm…a tomato is a fruit.
Dad: What? A tomato is a fruit?
Son: Yeah, cause it has seeds.
Dad: You’re telling me a tomato is a fruit? Is a pumpkin a fruit?
Son: Yeah, they have seeds.
Dad: What about a cucumber, is that a fruit?
Dad: What about a squash? A zucchini? You know what I think? I think you’re the fruit!
Son: No, I don’t have seeds.
Dad: …I’m not going there. –Grand Central Overheard by: Rehey
Gay man: Have you ever smelled your ass, after you buttfuck? –18th & 6th Overheard by: Dana
Chick #1: He was a skateboarder.
Chick #2: Yeah. Let me just say that he was locked and loaded. He had a nice package. –Our Place, 3rd Avenue
Girl #1: I love Kurt Cobain. I so would have had sex with him.
Girl #2: That’s like #60 in a long line of dead celebrities you would have had sex with. You’re such a slut!
Girl #1: No, see, you can have sex with as many dead celebrities as you want and not be a whore. It’s the rules. –Barnes & Noble, Union Square