Two hobos are having a quarrel. Bum: No, no, man, we can’t fuck each other; we gotta find two women to fuck! –Herald Square Overheard by: Todd Seavey
Archive for the ‘Sex’ Category
Yuppie Fantasies
Young Woman #1: I have to go to this “dungeon” for my Sexual Psychology class. Do you want to come?
Young Woman #2 in her mid-twenties: Is it like an S&M thing?
Young Woman #1: I don’t know. It’s like they act out different sexual
fantasies with whips and stuff.
Young Woman #2: OK, that sounds cool.
– Upper East Side
No More Enemas, Huh?
Gray-haired Man: I can get a hell of a lot more with my finger than I can with that. –East of Eighth, 23rd St. Overheard by: Megan Buckley
Wednesday One-Liners Have at Least One Marketable Skill
Pragmatist: I figure if I don’t get a job in publishing, I’ll become a video vixen.
–Dunkin’ Donuts, Ditmars Blvd, Astoria
Overheard by: Christine
Skank: No way! I am not one of those girls. I am not a video girl…I am a dancer!
–34th & 8th
Overheard by: Skye
Ditz: Supposably [sic], she’s going to be dancing in some Beyonce video. She’s so stupid.
–54th St between 9th & 10th
Media scholar: Well it’s different when the girl getting fucked in the video is the same age as you. I mean, that’s great when you’re 15.
–20th & 8th
Aw Yeah, That's the Stuff!
Cute, slightly obnoxious girl: I didn't get sexually harassed today!
Huge Latino male friend: High five!
(five or six people from surrounding tables walk over to get in on the high fives)
–Esperanto Cafe, 3rd & MacDougal
He Tricked Me!
Cute girl #1: So you know how my New Year's resolution was to… keep my legs closed a little better?
Cute girl #2: Yes. I did know that. Good one.
Cute girl #1: Well, I had my first slip-up in upholding it.
Cute girl #2: But it's January 2!
–Bleecker & Bowery
Overheard by: Unimpressed, but amused
Wednesday One-Liners: Glug Glug Glug, Ahh!
NYU student to another: I haven't been drinking as much since I turned 21.
–Duane Reade
Overheard by: Rogelio
College girl to friend: I wasn't drunk, I was just cheerful.
–Canal St & Mott St
20-something girl on cell: He was drunk and fucking his demon ex-girlfriend.
–181 & Ft. Washington
Guy in dirty army clothes to another: I was still drunk, thank god Dunkin' Donuts was open.
–D Train
Middle aged guy on cell: That's what happens when you drink, motherfucker! You can't remember shit!
–Brooklyn
Overheard by: Aron
Blame Jersey Shore, Not Me!
Guy with squash equipment #1: Let's squash.
Guy with squash equipment #2: We squashed her all night and we squished her all day.
Guy with squash equipment #1: That's disgusting.
–Gym, Columbia University
Overheard by: Nava
Carry On, Then
Boyfriend: Don't do that. Hey, you just sexually abused me!
Girlfriend: Yeah, but you liked it.
–L Train
Overheard by: Kait
Stupid Incest Taboo
Guy #1: Oh is that the girl you fucking?
Guy #2: No, that's my niece.
Guy #1: Oh, too bad.
–6 Train
Overheard by: MJ