Archive for the ‘Sex’ Category

“Starving Children in Ethiopia Don't Even Have Wednesday One-Liners!”

NYU student to another: Spinach is like sex: if you were forced to have it as a child, you wouldn't enjoy it as an adult.

–University Place & 12th St

Hobo, pointing to deli sign: They want you to toss your own salad for $8.95.

–23rd and 3rd

Overheard by: Nicole Shipman

Suit shouting into cell: Eggplant! Eggplant! Jesus Christ, what is so fucking hard about eggplant?!

–Greenwich Village

Overheard by: Sunny

Subway preacher: I like vegetables! You gotta eat them so you can live. I like to put vegetables in my mouth. I like the way they taste!

–N Train

Guy to another: Take the pickle, because by god if someone else does and you don't get it, well, you'll be pickle-less and that's not ideal.

–125th St

Overheard by: Brian K.

Can You Meet Me Wednesday, Next to the One-Liners?

Collegiate boy to group of friends: Well, if you think about it, if you've met one person you've basically met everyone.

–6th Ave & West 4th St

Overheard by: Lucas

Guy to friend: I went to the anarchists' meeting, but they turned out to just be a group of spoiled, white, middle-class kids.

–Union Square

Overheard by: Kate Deshmukh

Loud lady on cell: Yeah, just meet me here. I'll be in the basement in the sexuality section.
(pause, then even more loudly) Basement! Sex!

–The Strand

Overheard by: April

Redhead girl: No, I totally want you to meet him–I just don't want him to meet you.

–47th St & Broadway

Overheard by: Rick

Wednesday One-Liners Giggle and Snort

Nerdy serious white guy: See, that's what's great about going to Afghanistan. I'm no good at talking to women.

–N Train

Overheard by: annearchist

Nerd walking into archaeology class from noisy hallway: Do you hear the roman legion?

–Hunter College

Nerdy guy on cell: Yeah, she's an exhibitionist. She needs to be punished, but who's going to do it?

–JCPenny

Geeky Korean kid outside high school: I'm not really bad. I'm, like, medium-bad. You know, like, bad… But still good.

–Flushing, Queens

Overheard by: Samantha

Nerd to another: Your entire belief system is based on the rotundity of Darth Vader… That is a farce.

–Columbia University

Overheard by: Nicole

Overheard in Wednesday One-Liner

20-something dude to another: It's so hard to get laid in this city before 11 pm!

–M-15 Bus

Hottie: I am in New York City. You need to make $250,000 to live like a white person.

–28th & 29th

Overheard by: A black person from Chicago

20-something male to female: So you'd better be prepared. It's like the Times Square of New York.

–16th St & Union Square

Overheard by: Annie B

Middle-aged Hispanic dude to Indian salesperson: This is New York City. Nobody's gonna kill you, okay?

–Rite-Aid

Young gay man: That's what I hate about New York City. It's such a fucking small town.

–14th St & 2nd Ave

Overheard by: molls

You're No Body 'til Some Body Wednesday One-Liners You

Ghetto girl to group of friends: And I was just like "Oh my god! No, she didn't! Not with that nose!"

–C Train

Guy: You could fry an egg on her stomach.

–Union Square Green Market

Overheard by: Confabulation Nation

Indian cougar: I just like the feeling of a nice hard young male body.

–Bowery St

Overheard by: Dj bj

Woman showing pictures on camera: And this is da one where I'm givin' him da deaf eyes…

–West Village

Overheard by: Cass

Woman on cell: Never once have I opened my legs to anyone… besides you.

–Downtown Brooklyn

Overheard by: Matt Martin

Teen to friend: They said it wouldn't be fair for me to fight her cause she ain't got no fingers.

–Outside Erasmus High School