Gay #1: How is being gay going for you?
Gay #2: I don’t really jibe with the culture.
Gay #1: Like what?
Gay #2: The music.
–7A Cafe, East Village
Archive for the ‘Sexuality’ Category
Methinks the Lady Doth Protest Too Much
Puerto Rican Teenager #1 in Williamsburg: “Hey, calling someone else gay means that you’re gay!” Puerto Rican Teenager #2: “Are you calling me gay? ARE YOU CALLING ME GAY? I’m not gay! Bring any woman out here right now, and I will fuck her in front of you all, in front of the world. Anyone. Do it, right now! I will show the whole world that I am not gay! Do you hear me? Do you hear me? I AM NOT GAY!”
Rick James is Spinning in His Grave
Guy: I said, “I hate to break it to you, but I’m straight.” And she said, “If you like girls, don’t introduce yourself as Jeremy. It’s a nice name.” And I said, “I’m not interested in girls like that. I like the superfreaks.” –Belly, LES
Says He Wants to Have My Baby
Girl #1: But I secretly like when guys check me out.
Girl #2: What about Steven*?
Girl #1: Oh yeah… He's like a lesbian, who knows.
–Hunter College
The Subtext Of Every Jersey Shore Episode
Teen girl: Hey, did you see that really hot guy at the pool?
Boyfriend: Yeah, the one with the black hair and the nice body?
Teen girl: Yeah… He was really hot.
Boyfriend: Yeah, I'd fersure tap that.
(long pause)
Boyfriend: I think I might be gay.
–2 Train
Overheard by: bethany
K.d. Langsday One-Liners
Chatty woman: There were two lesbians, or transsexuals, or whatever you call it…
–26th St & Park Ave
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Crazy shouting hobo: Lesbians are rapists! Lesbians are rapists! You stick your tongue in a pussy, you're a rapist! Rapist lesbians! Lesbians are rapists!
–E Train
Woman on cell: Of course I thought she was a lesbian! She walked like a dude!
–Sunset Park, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Laura
Middle aged woman to male on train, in one breath: Scientists say that in 2012 the sun will line up with the milky way and change the axle on the earth and you know it is hard to be a black lesbian cause most of these women just get tired of men and have sex with a woman but that doesn't mean they are bisexual just because they have sex with men and women and they ain't really lesbians they just think they are cause they have sex with women…
–D Train
Overheard by: thomas
Normal-looking girl to girlfriends: Do you know how many woman hit on me when I was in San Francisco?
–Bedford & 6th
Man on street: Does anybody need a lesbian lover? Because I'll get a sex change…
–79th St & Broadway
That's No Hobo–That's Janice Dickinson!
Skinny white girl to angry boyfriend: Those guys that I flirt with at work, I get paid to flirt with them. It's like I'm a prostitute.
Hobo: Not with that ass, you're not!
–Queens Plaza
Wednesday “It”-Liners
Guy: She *is* stupid. But in this unbelievably sexy way, so you don't even care.
–10th St & 3rd Ave
16-year-old black girl, about Shia LaBeouf: He's the sexiest white boy. I'm gonna rape his ass.
–Battery Park
Teen girl on cell: I would never have sexy mushrooms in front of my mom.
–Time Warner Center
Overheard by: Scott
20-something girl on cell: Nah, I won't play second bitch! She's just mad because I always look nice and keep my sexy up.
–Park Slope
Why I Stopped Going to Corporate Cocktail Parties: Explained.
Suit, after Yankees game: If Manny Ramirez took fertility drugs, wouldn't he be nanny Ramirez by now?
Female suit: God, you're good.
–Yankee Stadium
Boys Don't Wednesday One-Liner
Mom to small children: Well, we all have parts. And these parts talk to our bodies and tell us we are a boy or a girl. And sometimes these parts get confused.
–Washington Square East
20-something girl to male friend: You're a dirty girl! You're a dirty girl! You're a dirty girl!
–N Train
Overheard by: TR
Mother to gender-transitioning son, questioning plans for surgery: Are you a boy trapped in a girl's body? I'm getting a face lift, and it's because I'm a young person trapped in an old person's body.
–39th & 9th
Man in yellow and green track suit and aviator sunglasses: Nah, I can't go. That's when I'm having my breast reduction.
–Columbus Circle
Overheard by: Ems
Teenage boy: I don't wanna be on that block, son! I know too many trannies on that block!
–Bedford & Grove
Overheard by: How many is too many?
Guy on cell, leaving message: Hello, Dave. This is your mother.
–Tisch School of the Arts
Overheard by: Bruce Lee
Teen boy: Fear me, I have vaginitis!
–Staten Island Ferry
Overheard by: Jingles