Archive for the ‘Sexuality’ Category

Wednesday One-Liners Go Looking for a Vein

Girl #1 to girl #2: Wouldn't you just rather have a night where we just get really high and scissor? –Grand & Union, Brooklyn Guy on cell: So they're smoking crack and fucking on his mother's bed! –17th & 8th Ave Overheard by: Dave Little kid: Look, I'm on crack! –Apple Store, Staten Island Mall Overheard by: Robert Junkie to junkie companion, standing in front of Band-Aids: I need to test positive for methadone and negative for everything else… –Walgreens, Union Square Hobo on train: Does anyone have any money for me? Any food? Any opium? Lots and lots of opium? –Uptown 6 Train Overheard by: left my opium stash at home 20-something blond girl on cell: You just have to convince them that you care more about college than you do about drugs, and they'll give you another chance…that's what I did! –Chinatown Bus Overheard by: GavinJoyce Tourist: So I called her up and said, "Come down or you're going to miss breakfast, and I want to have breakfast with you." And all she said was, "I really like opium." and I was like, "Oh, okay." –33rd & 7th Overheard by: EthanK

Wednesday One-Liners for Black History Month

Russian woman to Russian friend: I want to see Notorious because it's about black people. –Regal Cinema, 13th & Broadway High school boy: Hey, look–a black kid! –B1 Bus Overheard by: Robert Gleyberman Black guy: Don't worry, its alright! I'm not that black! I haven't mugged anybody in two weeks, and I love all white people under six feet tall! –Time Square Overheard by: Jennie Middle-aged black woman, to no one in particular: That George W. Bush! He walks like an arrogant black man! –Queens Overheard by: BigFatTiger Nerdy Jewish guy: I don't know what went wrong. I should be a black girl by now! –Queens College

Wednesday One-Liners Have the Rainbow Connection

Gay man: Now that everything is lesbian, bi and transgender, I don't know if I can lead the committee anymore, 'cause I've got my gay male privilege. –W 13th St Man with clipboard: Do you have a moment for gay rights? (silence) C'mon, help support the people that made your clothes! –10th St & 5th Ave Overheard by: You mean 10-year olds in Honduras? Thug teenage dad, about baby staring at effeminate Asian man: Oh shit, she's already got her gaydar on. –4 Train Chick to friends: I would be like the sluttiest gay guy and it would be totally awesome. –Christopher St Man: …and you know there are a ton of gays who have no problem taking it straight up the ass. –Times Square 11-year-old thuggish boy: No homo, but he looks better than his sister. –Bronx Playground Black guy: I'm gay! I'm proud! I'm in the front seat! I'm gay! I'm proud! I'm in the front seat! I love guys! –Union St & 8th Ave, Brooklyn

Wednesday One-Liners Double Their Pleasure, Double Their Fun

65-year-old lady, in bikini top and Daisy Duke shorts, with belly hanging over: Of course I am bisexual…can't you see the view?" –49th St & 7th Ave Overheard by: NATE MATHIS Girl to guy: You can't be bisexual and married, John. That's, like, illegal! –50th b/w 8th & 9th Australian chic at bar: It's weird though, he reminds me so much of my ex-girlfriend. –Mexican Restaruant, Lower East Side Loud girl on cell: No, I did him, it was so good. (pause) Yeah, I fucked her too, she loved it. –Hillside & Edgerton Drunk lesbian: Why can't you be a girl or at least have a really big dick? –Bowery Ballroom

Wednesday One-Liners Are a Social Construct

Angry construction worker to befuddled construction worker: Don't look at me like that! Don't say that to me! Go home and fuck my wife, asshole! –Penn Station Overheard by: Jumana Construction working to another: Man, I need to get me a bi girlfriend. She'd be lovin' me, and I'd be lovin' her friends. –Columbus Circle Overheard by: Rich R. Construction worker, singing: If there's a skeeter on your Peter/whack it off! (claps twice) –Waverly Place & 5th Ave Overheard by: steph Tough construction worker, unloading van: Yo, I was up til like 2 am watchin' Scooby Doo Where Are You! –Humboldt & Withers Overheard by: francesca Construction worker, staring up at construction skyscraper: It's all twisted. It's going to come down. –Williams St Overheard by: Sonya

Boy Parts and Girl Names: Hot, Hot, Hot!

Girl #1: So, seriously, his name is Meredith? Like “A Boy Named Sue?” Seriously?
Girl #2: Yeah, seriously, it's like that show… The one with, you know, the guy, and that's his name… You know, that show we watched last night.
Girl #1: Yeah, that show, with the hot guys?
Girl #2: Yeah, seriously hot.
Girl #1: Seriously. –6 Train Overheard by: I don't think they were serious