Archive for the ‘Sexuality’ Category

“Your Mama's So Wednesday, She's a One-Liner!”

Young woman in need of sympathy: You have to forgive me! My mother, she fucked me up! I'm soooo fucked up!

–7th St & Ave A

Overheard by: stephie

Teenage girl: My mom is a fan of "wild sex" on Facebook.

–Starbucks

Girl in red jacket: It's not the whole gay thing, it's the whole sex-in-front-of-your-mother thing.

–Hudson & Varrick

Man to another, across seat: Get up! Get up, fool. Yo' momma don't love you! And if yo' momma don't love you, don't nobody love you.

–E Train

Male NYU student: Yay, my mom's picking me up!

–NYU

Overheard by: George

Wednesday One-Liners Are Confirmed Bachelors

Gay student in freight elevator to other students: This reminds me of every romantic encounter I've ever had.

–SVA George Washington Dorms

Overheard by: Nicole

Flamboyant gay man to another: Have you taken a trip down to his passion peninsula?

–Gay Club, Williamsburg, Brooklyn

Gay guy to girl on his arm, kindly: That was a waste of your breath and my time.

–Broadway & E 7th

Overheard by: Jon A.

Flamboyant, queened-out Lady Gaga-style gay: Diva, you have to promise me that when I die, you'll head straight up to my apartment and remove all my dildos and drugs so my mom won't find them.

–A Train

Gay man to another: He's a genealogist. Of course he's a bottom!

–6th Ave & 13th St

Wednesday One-Liners Are Just “Sociable”

Drunk gay man: I've slept with more men than my mom has!

–Ave A

Overheard by: Let his own mom win that contest

Woman to man: I don't want to be known as the whore of New Yorkers.

–9th Ave & 44th St

Woman on cell: It's just sex. There's no way you guys can ever be permanently tied, or anything.

–Macy's

Preppy, middle-aged woman, about man on iPhone: Who is that whore?

–Bookstore, Brooklyn

Overheard by: -she probably said

Wednesday Conga Liners

Young gay: It's gay upon gay in that establishment, but not one person's dancing!

–Boiler Room, E 4th & 2nd Ave

Overheard by: That's because it's the Boiler Room

Mother to five-year-old son looking at Rockettes signage: Well, for one thing, you have to be a girl. And you also have to really long legs.

–Outside Radio City Music Hall

Overheard by: Bryan

Girl: Woah, there's no one in the dance studio. That's so ironic!

–Beacon School

20-something girl: Well, the way he was dancing, I couldn't not take his wallet!

–1st Ave & 12th St

Overheard by: rachel

A Feminist Critique Of Wednesday One-Liners

Chick: Was she a gymnast, or a feminist?

–Café, 113th & Amsterdam

Overheard by: Ladle

Anthropology professor: Everyone's a misogynist. Women attend seminars, "seminar" comes from the word "semen," which comes from the Latin for "a unit of knowledge." And this, my friends, is how women get smart.

–Classroom, NYU

Overheard by: thats how I got into NYU

Rambling man: Nobody's gonna be in charge anymore! (pause) Except the ladies.

–Rivington & Forsyth

Wednesday One-Liners: “Toga! Toga! Toga!”

60-something white woman: They put on a good show. Those Jesuits really know how to party!

–Penn Station

Overheard by: Jeff

Gay man to others, about parties: Yeah, I thought about going to the black party, but I'm not that gay!

–7th Ave & 6th St

Overheard by: NottRob

Young woman: I'm twenty-seven. I've never been to a party, a sexy party, where I don't remember who I've slept with.

–21st St & Lexington

Overheard by: Jonas

Chick on cell: I can't. It's my cousin's chihuahua's birthday party.

–28th St & Lexington

Overheard by: sounds like a rager

Night-Night, Wednesday-One-Liner Tight!

20-something girl: I mean, I can always sleep on top of him.

–Strawberry's, Queens Centre Mall

Overheard by: i like that option…

Man to friend: I keep having dreams about being with other women, and I've never had them before. I think it must be the time of year or something.

–Hudson River Park

Girl on cell: Well, he slipped me Ecstasy while I was sleeping…

–23rd St & 8th Ave

Guy on cell: That's awesome! (pause) That's awesome! (pause) Dude, that's like reverse Sleepaway Camp!

–27th & 2nd

Overheard by: liz

Nurse: I just want to stop having dreams of him saying "pap-smear pap-smear pap-smear…"

–Columbia University

Overheard by: p y l

…And Now I'm Erect.

Hipster #1: I'm not a hipster. I'm a bisexual Jew with a penchant for interning at alternative magazines and weeklies.
Hipster #2: You've got the words “bisexual, Jew, penchant, interning,” and “alternative” in a single sentence. Dude, that is the definition of hipster.

–Think Coffee