Archive for the ‘Sexuality’ Category

Wednesday One-Liners Are a Social Construct

Angry construction worker to befuddled construction worker: Don't look at me like that! Don't say that to me! Go home and fuck my wife, asshole! –Penn Station Overheard by: Jumana Construction working to another: Man, I need to get me a bi girlfriend. She'd be lovin' me, and I'd be lovin' her friends. –Columbus Circle Overheard by: Rich R. Construction worker, singing: If there's a skeeter on your Peter/whack it off! (claps twice) –Waverly Place & 5th Ave Overheard by: steph Tough construction worker, unloading van: Yo, I was up til like 2 am watchin' Scooby Doo Where Are You! –Humboldt & Withers Overheard by: francesca Construction worker, staring up at construction skyscraper: It's all twisted. It's going to come down. –Williams St Overheard by: Sonya

Boy Parts and Girl Names: Hot, Hot, Hot!

Girl #1: So, seriously, his name is Meredith? Like “A Boy Named Sue?” Seriously?
Girl #2: Yeah, seriously, it's like that show… The one with, you know, the guy, and that's his name… You know, that show we watched last night.
Girl #1: Yeah, that show, with the hot guys?
Girl #2: Yeah, seriously hot.
Girl #1: Seriously. –6 Train Overheard by: I don't think they were serious

What's a Nice Wednesday One-Liner Like You Doing in a Place Like This?

Guy to girl with afro crossing the street: Hey gorgeous! Gorgeous! Let me massage your kinky tips! –8th Ave & W 4th Comedy club promoter to hot girl: Hi, do you like comedy? (girl keeps walking) Okay, do you like skinny white guys then? –42nd & Broadway Overheard by: Galina Young boy reading aloud in halting monotone: I like that outfit. It would look great crumpled up on my bedroom floor tomorrow morning. You have 206 bones in your body, want one more? –Borders, Kips Bay Overheard by: Emily Fat white guy in Mets jersey to hot blonde: Hello, my name is Tom and I'm horny. (blonde keeps walking) –Lexington & 50th Black man to female passerby: S'cuse me miss… Not to seem rude, but to be honest…for a white girl, you got a nice butt. –5th Ave Conductor on PA: Ladies and gentlemen, this last weekend I went to a club…never again. I walked in, sat down at the bar and ordered a drink. I saw a beautiful lady across the bar, went up to her and said, "Where have you been all my life?" She said back to me "I think for the first half of your life, I wasn't born." This is 59th, Columbus circle, have a good day, ladies and gentlemen. –A Train

The Prostate Knows No Sexual Orientation

Teen girl #1: He never leaves me the hell alone. It’s like, ‘Hello, I don’t care!’
Teen girl #2: You know he’s bi, right?
Teen girl #1: What? No, he’s not. What are you talking about?
Teen girl #2: Oh my god! You didn’t know? Yeah, he’s bi!
Teen girl #1: Since when? Who told you that?
Teen girl #2: Didn’t you?
Teen girl #1: No. I didn’t say ‘bi.’ I said ‘anal plugs.’ –Brighton Beach Overheard by: Stina

Ta-Tas Prove Nothing in This Neighborhood, Mon Ami

Foreign girl #1 to lesbian entering ladies' room: I'm sorry, this is a ladies' room.
Lesbian: I'm a woman.
Foreign girl #1: Oh my god, I'm so sorry! That's the worst thing I've ever done!
Foreign girl #2, coming out of stall: Wait, no. You're so not a woman!
Lesbian: You wanna see the ta-tas? –Sidewalk Bar, 6th & Ave A

Wednesday One-Liners for Chandler Bing’s Dad

Dude: Is it true the city is outlawing fat trannies? –14th & 9th Girl on cell: … But the conversation is getting so good! I’m announcing my attraction to trannies, and you’re talking about the S-and-M relationship of our friends! –Harlem Overheard by: Poogins Crazy drunk man to 11-year-olds: Suck my dick, bitch! And my pussy! –F train Tranny to Jehovah’s Witnesses: You don’t know nothing about God. I ain’t got no testicles. You can’t tell me about God. –149th & St. Nicholas Overheard by: KcB Chubby guy: I don’t hang with women with tits smaller than mine. –Sidewalk cafe, Greenpoint Overheard by: Big Larry Butch woman on cell: So, Jennifer — you know, my ex-wife’s boyfriend… –Payless Shoe Source, 34th St