Archive for the ‘Shoes’ Category

Wednesday One-Liners Are Real, and They’re Spectacular

Suit: … But then I’d just be one big, walking boob!

–Grand Central

Overheard by: uh what?

Hipster chick: Oh my god, I know! Chad told me I have to show him my boobs before we graduate, and that’s, like, only a month away!

–118th & Broadway

Overheard by: sapphirebluemica

Ghetto tourist man looking at Maidenform billboard: Breasts! Breasts on a billboard!

–35th & 7th

Overheard by: Moses

19-year-old girl: I am not leaving here without black ballet flats and breasts.

–Bathroom line, Macy’s

Little boy: Look, Mommy, Shrek has titties!

–AMC, Bay Plaza

Overheard by: Mel & Damee

Boyfriend to angry girlfriend: I didn’t say you had an awkward body! I said you had awkward breasts!

–Camp, Cobble Hill

Wednesday One-Liners Support a Woman's Right to Shoes

Woman on cell: I would totally bind my feet for a good pair of shoes if they didn't have them in my size.

–Queens Boulevard

Passing hobo to girl with violin case: You have very nice boots… for a musician.

–85th & Columbus

Overheard by: cisium

Lady on cell: Go to the bathroom? Put our shoes on? On my god!

–113th & Amsterdam

Overheard by: Ladle

Drunk woman: I've been wearing high heels so long, my uterus is tilted!

–PATH

Overheard by: Best line I heard all night

Woman complaining on phone: He's wearing high-heels, and it's raining!

–2nd Ave & 12th St

Overheard by: Thommy Tuff Nutz

But Miami's Warm– Why Is Everyone There So Attractive?

Teen punk girl: You know, I don't get why people wear uggs. They're all like, “oh, they're warm, they're warm! I don't care if they're warm, they are not attractive!
Teen hipster friend: Yeah, I know, right?
Teen punk girl: There's many things that are warm, but that are not attractive. North Face ski coats are warm, are they attractive? No. Fat people must be warm, are they attractive? Fuck no!

–110th & Amsterdam

Wednesday One-Liners Jill Off

Music manager on phone: You know what you need? Lesbians! Everyone needs a lesbian.

–20th St & 5th Ave

Overheard by: LoRna

Lady on cell: And now she thinks I’m a lesbian because I borrowed her…

–Union Square Greenmarket

Overheard by: borrowed her what?

Guy on cell: Did you bring chairs and a cooler? Cause usually lesbians are so prepared, they always bring chairs and a cooler.

–Ludlow near Rivington

English woman (trying on a pair of vintage men inspired shoes) to man: I always thought there was something very chic about a woman wearing a man’s shoe. (looks at her footwear) But I have to be skinny for this look, otherwise I’ll look like a lesbian!

–Frock Vintage Store

Overheard by: Shoegal

Guy to friend: She isn’t a lesbian but she does own a house.

–13th & 1st

Wednesday One-Liners Do the Vatican Rag

Suit on cell: No, I’m not coming in today…I’m on the Upper East Side. There’s all this traffic from the Pope’s "Don’t sodomize the kids" world tour.

–83rd & Lex

Guy at bar: Most Popes hate Jews.

–6th and D

Gamer kid: Yeah, I was in DC this weekend with the Pope… Yeah, I saw that muthafucka.

–218th & Park Terrace West

Overheard by: Kelley

Old lady, about young girl: Oh, she looks nice. She’s wearing Pope shoes.

–Carmine St

Overheard by: arctinus