Archive for the ‘Shoes’ Category

Catch-of-the-Day Wednesday One-Liners

Guy on bench to friend: What did you do? You can't just eat a fish! –Central Park North Chick on cell: Were we attacking each other with goldfish last night? –Columbia University Overheard by: Ladle Woman to friend: And on top of that, I hear she smokes like a fish! –Columbus & 67th Overheard by: abcnews Girl on cell: I don't have snakeskin shoes, but I have these fish shoes I really love. Yeah, they're made out of fish scales. They're awesome. –Penn Station Middle-aged African American woman: I went to eat in the Bronx and she gave me naked fish. –Grand Central Terminal Overheard by: the guy behind the guy

It’s Not You, It’s Wednesday One-Liners

Guy to friends: They broke up… He was only in the relationship for the free Nike gear anyway. –Stone St. Overheard by: Jen Hipster dude: So Jane* is coming to the studio tonight to do some recording. Should I have her do it and then break up with her, or break up with her first and then have her do it? –F Train Overheard by: dianora 13-year-old girl on cell: What? You broke up with him? That’s so cruel! Um, can I date him? –Thompson Street, The Village Excited teen girl: This would be a great place to break up with some people! –8th St Park Girl on cell: They broke up? I always thought that them breaking up was like a joke, like saying you don’t like Brussels sprouts when you secretly do, but you just say it because it’s the first yucky vegetable that comes to your mind. But hey, that’s great! –Outside the Frick Museum Overheard by: A. Pincus Guy, yelling from third story fire escape: Sarah! Sarah Whitlock! Don’t leave me! She meant nothing to me! Come back… Please! (pause) Okay, but I’m keeping the deposit! –E 4th Street Overheard by: Nima Shirazi

Wednesday One-Liners Are Real, and They’re Spectacular

Suit: … But then I’d just be one big, walking boob! –Grand Central Overheard by: uh what? Hipster chick: Oh my god, I know! Chad told me I have to show him my boobs before we graduate, and that’s, like, only a month away! –118th & Broadway Overheard by: sapphirebluemica Ghetto tourist man looking at Maidenform billboard: Breasts! Breasts on a billboard! –35th & 7th Overheard by: Moses 19-year-old girl: I am not leaving here without black ballet flats and breasts. –Bathroom line, Macy’s Little boy: Look, Mommy, Shrek has titties! –AMC, Bay Plaza Overheard by: Mel & Damee Boyfriend to angry girlfriend: I didn’t say you had an awkward body! I said you had awkward breasts! –Camp, Cobble Hill

But Miami's Warm– Why Is Everyone There So Attractive?

Teen punk girl: You know, I don't get why people wear uggs. They're all like, “oh, they're warm, they're warm! I don't care if they're warm, they are not attractive!
Teen hipster friend: Yeah, I know, right?
Teen punk girl: There's many things that are warm, but that are not attractive. North Face ski coats are warm, are they attractive? No. Fat people must be warm, are they attractive? Fuck no! –110th & Amsterdam

Wednesday One-Liners Jill Off

Music manager on phone: You know what you need? Lesbians! Everyone needs a lesbian. –20th St & 5th Ave Overheard by: LoRna Lady on cell: And now she thinks I’m a lesbian because I borrowed her… –Union Square Greenmarket Overheard by: borrowed her what? Guy on cell: Did you bring chairs and a cooler? Cause usually lesbians are so prepared, they always bring chairs and a cooler. –Ludlow near Rivington English woman (trying on a pair of vintage men inspired shoes) to man: I always thought there was something very chic about a woman wearing a man’s shoe. (looks at her footwear) But I have to be skinny for this look, otherwise I’ll look like a lesbian! –Frock Vintage Store Overheard by: Shoegal Guy to friend: She isn’t a lesbian but she does own a house. –13th & 1st

Wednesday One-Liners Do the Vatican Rag

Suit on cell: No, I’m not coming in today…I’m on the Upper East Side. There’s all this traffic from the Pope’s "Don’t sodomize the kids" world tour. –83rd & Lex Guy at bar: Most Popes hate Jews. –6th and D Gamer kid: Yeah, I was in DC this weekend with the Pope… Yeah, I saw that muthafucka. –218th & Park Terrace West Overheard by: Kelley Old lady, about young girl: Oh, she looks nice. She’s wearing Pope shoes. –Carmine St Overheard by: arctinus