Guy, to girl: If I wanted to be angry, I would have punched you in the face a long time ago. –34th & 7th Woman on cell: Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face. –33rd St & 31st Ave, Astoria Overheard by: Wade Woman: It’s not like someone put a gun to your head and told you to fuck her! –Penn Station Overheard by: Cha Guy on cell: Yes, I’m interested in your sparring class…No, you see I want to hit somebody. –Bryant Park Overheard by: Braincurve Thug, to his girlfriend: Yo, I don’t care if you a girl or not. I will bust you in the head with a rock. –Central Park
Girl #1: Didn’t Tupac kill himself?
Girl #2: Ummm, definitely not. He was shot.
Girl #1: Oh. That’s unfortunate.
–Lower East Side
Guy: Did you hear that the dude who shot the Pope got let go from jail?
Girl: Yeah, and the Pope forgave him and everything.
Guy: Wow, I totally want to shoot the Pope now!
Girl: Yeah, he’d probably be cool with it. –E train Overheard by: Gradie Smith
Black guy: Man, niggas got guns. You don’t know what they gonna do.
Overheard by: couldn’t stop laughing Hungry guy: Tell him I’m gonna kick his ass! Tell him I’m gonna fuck him up, and tell him to bring food.
Overheard by: Autumn Mother of the Year: My momma said, “All you gotta do is beat the hell out the biggest one of them, and the rest will fall in line.” And she was right, too.
–23rd & 11th Woman on cell: She went and married that man who her first husband shot her for goin’ out with.
–Foley Square Enthusiastic guy: Yeah! Come down to Ditmars and get your ass whipped! Just come on down to Ditmars and get your ass whipped. Yeah! We’ll whip your ass. So just come down to Ditmars. You’ll get your ass whipped. –N train, Queensboro Plaza Overheard by: Richard Berman Amateur chiropractor: She told the cops I hit her with a golf club. I didn’t hit that bitch with no golf club. If I hit that bitch with a golf club, her neck would be broken. –Behind Pathmark, 125th St Overheard by: wadotron Happy hobo: Oh man! Oh man! [Hugs friend repeatedly] Now I’m gonna kick your ass! –G train Overheard by: greenpoint blank
Four-year-old boy: I have gun! Gun, gun, gun, gun, gun!
–Gate, Newark Airport
Overheard by: minkey
Man on phone: Yo! The last time I saw that nigga I shot at that nigga!
–43rd & 7th
Overheard by: Alex
Guy with facial piercings: My mom’s such a bitch. She’s like, ‘I don’t want any guns or drugs in the house!’ and I was like, ‘Fuck you, Mom!’
Woman on cell: Kings County is the best hospital to go to if you get shot in New York.
–14th & Union Square
Overheard by: Mole
Thug kid to thug friends: I don’t do shootings. And besides, this is my stop.
–7 train, Queens
Overheard by: Mrs. LeClair
Girl #1: So then he shot his dad, because his dad was beating on his mom.
Girl #2: Okay.
Girl #1: Um, it’s sort of okay, but it sort of isn’t. –B train
Lady gentrifier: Like Joey Buttafuoco?
Guy gentrifier: Yes, like Joey Buttafuoco.
–Prospect Heights, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Jordamn!
Guy: Yeah, well, he’s a big fan of the cadaver tissue. –Washington Heights Lady on cell: My god he killed everyone last night. He first sat on her then started to beat on her. Then she got up and started beating on him. –West Broadway & Chambers Fat Hispanic woman: I don’t know, I just haven’t been using my gun lately. –Fort Greene
Black 30-something man: And she said, "Nigga, you wanna fuck mah titties wit a gun?"
Overheard by: Amanda R.
10-year-old boy, very loudly, to 10-year-old girl: Oh, yeah, well…how many guns have you ever held?
Middle aged white man in shorts: Anyone awake at 2 am should be shot!
Overheard by: L.C.
Street performer, trying to move crowd: Okay, let's try this! White people, we are not dangerous! (lifts shirt, pats down sides) We are unarmed! Step closer!
–W 45th & 5th
Man on phone: Right. Right. Wait, what? (in shock) He don't got a gun? Well, he has to have a gun! What kinda game do you think this is?
Army dude to friends: People shoot at me every once in awhile. Do I get tipped? No, fuck tips!
Angry teen on cell: I'm not gonna pay 18 dollars for a wedgie!
–Lingerie Department, Macy's
Overheard by: me neither
Girl on cell: I don't have a problem with camping, but why do they have to give me a sleeping bag? Can't they give me linens? It's not like I'm not giving them an insignificant amount of money.
–W Broadway & Grand
Suit on cell: At first I was only making $30,000 a year, but last year I got shot in the foot, and then I got a $1,000 bonus, so now I'm making $32,000 a year. Shit!
Overheard by: Brittany Smith
Loud woman on cell: I like and don't mind fucking you, but I need to get paid. I'm unemployed right now.
–108th & Broadway
Elevator operator for observatory, upon leaving: Please come again! We want your money.
–Empire State Building
Old guy in dark suit to young guy in dark suit: You're not embezzling money!
–48th & 8th