Tree-hugger #1: So, this dumb girl didn’t even know what the ACLU was…
Tree-hugger #2: Did you take her outside and shoot her?
–33rd & 5th
Archive for the ‘Shoot’ Category
Can’t Be Too Careful after That Whole “Original Sin” Thing
Girl on first date: I love animals.
Guy on first date: I love animals, too, but I see a snake and I’ll shoot it in the face.
–Union Square
Quick Draw Wednesday One-Liners
Young man to lady: So, Anthony told me you got machine gun titties…?
–42nd St station
Overheard by: interested
Crazy lady waving cane at laughing skateboarder: That’s right! Run for your life, motherfucker! I’m on a hunt! And you’re the prey!
–Outside Barnes & Noble, Astor Pl
Overheard by: Sputnik5
Ghetto chick: … And then I got caught on a gun charge because my boyfriend pistol-whipped me when I was pregnant and I took the gun and chased him down the street with it. And you know that drug bust in far Rockaway last year? That shit was me! Haha… And my lawyer got me five years probation and now jail time — he took care of me, ya know? And he was a Jew… You know them Jews — all into they money and shit.
–E train
Little boy on scooter: I believe I can fly! I just got shot by the FBI!
–Lex & Broadway
Man, about freestyling partner: He was like the Mexican version of 50 Cent, ‘cept his name was 537 pesos, and he don’t need no gun — all he gots is his burrito and a hot dog.
–D train, from Coney Island
Overheard by: jennievil
High school girl to her friend: If she didn’t show up for the shooting, she is not going to show up for the bomb scare.
–F train
US Military: Sign Here, Please
Crazy black guy: Yeah, man. You gotta get ‘em while you far away so they don’t know who you is! Just pop! Gone.
Hobo: Yeah!
Crazy black guy: Man, I’d love to kill a man from far away!
Hobo: Haha!
–23rd & Park Ave South
Overheard by: lady v
Pretty Much Speaks for Itself
Alabaman, about MLK Day: Yeah, well, down in Alabama we don’t celebrate his birthday, but the day he was shot.
College kid: Uh…
–49th & 3rd
How the Projects Got Gentrified
Yuppie girl: Sometimes I feel like it would be fun to live in the projects.
Yuppie guy: Uh, why?
Yuppie girl: Everybody knows each other — it’s like summer camp.
Yuppie guy: But they shoot each other.
Yuppie girl: Yeah — summer camp, but with guns.
–99th & 3rd
Overheard by: Dan
At Least, That’s What I Heard
JAP #1: Isn’t The Pursuit of Happyness an action movie? Because he needs money–
JAP #2: –Not all black people need to shoot people for money.
–Lehman College cafeteria
Overheard by: can’t breathe
Fur Trappers of the Marine Air Terminal
Service person #1: Ha! They all think we’re gonna shoot them.
Service person #2: No, we won’t shoot you, but I will shoot that woman in the fur coat over there.
–Marine Air terminal, LaGuardia
Overheard by: Pick-Qwick
Where’s Mr. T When You Need Him?
Eight-year old posse leader to clerk: Nah, don’t look at me, man. Yo, I’m serious. Fuck you. I’ll shoot you. I’ll shoot you right now. I’ll shoot you in the face. You don’t beleeb me? I got a BB gun right now in my pocket. I’ll shoot you in the face, man. You know what? It’ll hurt. It’ll hurt, too, man. I’ll shoot you in your face. Right now. Yeah. [Takes big swig of Sprite.] Yeah. I’ll shoot you… In the face, yo. [Leaves with posse, flipping off clerk.]
Customer: Wow.
Clerk: Yeah, they’re our future.
–Convenience store, 122nd & Lex
Overheard by: I just wanted some 40′s…
What War Movies Have These Kids Been Watching?
11-year-old boy #1 playing with toy gun: You fucked my mom in the ass! [Makes shooting noises, then ducks.]
11-year-old boy #2, nervous, to perplexed passerby: Uhhh, he wasn’t talking to you…
–10th & 7th, Park Slope
Overheard by: ian