Archive for the ‘Shoot’ Category

Quick Draw Wednesday One-Liners

Young man to lady: So, Anthony told me you got machine gun titties…?

–42nd St station

Overheard by: interested

Crazy lady waving cane at laughing skateboarder: That’s right! Run for your life, motherfucker! I’m on a hunt! And you’re the prey!

–Outside Barnes & Noble, Astor Pl

Overheard by: Sputnik5

Ghetto chick: … And then I got caught on a gun charge because my boyfriend pistol-whipped me when I was pregnant and I took the gun and chased him down the street with it. And you know that drug bust in far Rockaway last year? That shit was me! Haha… And my lawyer got me five years probation and now jail time — he took care of me, ya know? And he was a Jew… You know them Jews — all into they money and shit.

–E train

Little boy on scooter: I believe I can fly! I just got shot by the FBI!

–Lex & Broadway

Man, about freestyling partner: He was like the Mexican version of 50 Cent, ‘cept his name was 537 pesos, and he don’t need no gun — all he gots is his burrito and a hot dog.

–D train, from Coney Island

Overheard by: jennievil

High school girl to her friend: If she didn’t show up for the shooting, she is not going to show up for the bomb scare.

–F train

US Military: Sign Here, Please

Crazy black guy: Yeah, man. You gotta get ‘em while you far away so they don’t know who you is! Just pop! Gone.
Hobo: Yeah!
Crazy black guy: Man, I’d love to kill a man from far away!
Hobo: Haha!

–23rd & Park Ave South

Overheard by: lady v

Where’s Mr. T When You Need Him?

Eight-year old posse leader to clerk: Nah, don’t look at me, man. Yo, I’m serious. Fuck you. I’ll shoot you. I’ll shoot you right now. I’ll shoot you in the face. You don’t beleeb me? I got a BB gun right now in my pocket. I’ll shoot you in the face, man. You know what? It’ll hurt. It’ll hurt, too, man. I’ll shoot you in your face. Right now. Yeah. [Takes big swig of Sprite.] Yeah. I’ll shoot you… In the face, yo. [Leaves with posse, flipping off clerk.]
Customer: Wow.
Clerk: Yeah, they’re our future.

–Convenience store, 122nd & Lex

Overheard by: I just wanted some 40′s…