They wouldn’t want you either

Hipster: I wouldn’t smoke to go into that health food store – Bedford Ave, outside health food store

But you’re in a 99-Cent Store

Cashier in Jack’s 99 Cent store: Here’s your change, 62-cents
Woman: But I just gave you $62, and since everything here costs $1, how come you’re giving me 62 cents back?
Cashier: Everything here is 99-cents
Woman: Really?
Cashier: Yeah – Jack’s 99-Cent Store, Midtown

Nigligence Indeed

Black female customer: “Forget it, girl you must be suffering from NIGligence” - At Au Bon Pain on 37th & 5th, when she just missed the 4-6pm half price baked goods by one minute, and the black female who worked behind the register would not let her buy them for half price

Define “Fame”

Chick: It’s the biggest Wal-Mart in Arkansas. That’s their claim to fame. –Tennessee Mountain, SoHo

You Kooky Capitalists

Customer: Can I pay by debit?
Checkout Hippie: Yes. [laughter]
Customer: Why are you laughing?
Checkout Hippie: Because I thought what you said was funny.
Customer: OK… –Organic Market, East Village

Don’t Worry, Our Editor Can Recite the Episodes Verbatim

Frantic hipster: Please tell me you have The Golden Girls on DVD!
Employee: Nope, we are all sold out.
Frantic hipster: Dammit! It’s sold out everywhere! What am I going to do? –Barnes & Noble, Chelsea Overheard by: Rehey11

There May Be a Shop That Doesn’t

Passenger: Is there any shops in the city that sell Statue of Liberty souvenir statues?
Cabbie: Yeah, I think there may be a shop that sells those right in Times Square. –Times Square cab Overheard by: John Aubin

Yes, But Thoughts Are Usually A Penny

Street Vendor: Hey, hey, hey man, jewelry blow out special. Everything a dollar. Buy something nice for your wife for the holidays. One dollar!
Businessman: A dollar? I’m not gonna buy my wife jewelry for a dollar.
Street Vendor: It’s the thought that counts. –57th and 8th Overheard by: Josh Caldwell

Satanic Fashion is Always Hot

Boy#1: So what are you going to do? Go to gospel choir practice or go shopping?
Boy#2: The sales are this week. God…is…forever.
Boy#1: …you may be going to Hell, but at least you’ll look good going. –East Village Overheard by: michi-L

Two Kinds of Dressing Down

Lowlife: I hate shopping.
Yuppie: You have to love it, because we really need to avoid this look. –W. 8th & Broadway Overheard by: Tibbie X