Shopper: Will you have spring shoes out next week?
Saleslady: What?
Shopper: Spring shoes! Next week?
Saleslady: Spring?
Shopper: Yeah, downstairs they told me you always have the next season’s shoes out one season ahead.
Saleslady: Spring?
Shopper: Yes! Spring! Next week!
–Macy’s
Overheard by: Roxy Chanel McPink
Archive for the ‘Shopping’ Category
When Stereotypes Come to Life
Hasidic Jew: How much is this detergent?
Cashier: $2.99.
Hasidic Jew: Never mind. I’ll put it back.
–Rite-Aid, Bensonhurst
Kick Up Your Calendar; It’s Wednesday
Superbubbly Woman: I’ll see you tomorrow! Which is Friday! And we’ll kick it up another notch!
Cashier: OK!
–Bodega, 9th Ave & 36th Street
Hopefully He’ll Read This and Feel Guilty
Woman: My dad controls all the money in the house, to the point where if my mom wants to go shopping she has to talk to him. She’d said, ‘You really need to go to the grocery. Your daughter only had a protein shake to eat today.’ He said, ‘Well, she needs to lose weight anyway.’ It’s crazy. That’s the kind of shit we had to deal with growing up. –29th & Park
This Is Where Babies Come From, Sweetie
Little girl to mother in liquor store: Mommy, why are you buying that?
Mother: I don't ask you why you buy toys.
–Brooklyn
Overheard by: Noemi
One-Liners Melt in Your Mouth, Not in Your Wednesday
Girl: I would totally eat the shit out of a cupcake!
–St. Mark's Place
Mom to little boy crying after dropping popsicle: I'm not buying you another one!
–Central Park
Overheard by: Katherine
Thin blonde girl: I love food. I wish I could make love to this cookie…
–NYU
Very hot girl in expensive outfit to guy walking away: Oh, so looking at candy and toys is more important than my need to go to the bathroom?
–82nd & Central Park West
Wednesday One-Liners Are Here to Fix the Cable… (Bow Chicka Bow Wow!)
Midwestern tourist woman walking into trashy store: I hope this isn't a porn shop!
–Times Square
Overheard by: Jingles
30-something woman on cell: I'm not bringing the baby to the porn convention!
–Hilton Theater
Man on phone: Did you say "corn" or "porn"?
–Onion News Network
Overheard by: Kaze
Man to wife: Don't worry, I don't need to upgrade. That's what porn is for!
–40th & Broadway
Overheard by: mel
Well You're Not Bathing in Them, Are You?
Man: Do you have bathing suits?
Salesgirl: No… But we have swimming trunks.
Man, sarcastically: Why not? I'll try those.
–6th & 23rd
…Or Just Suck on Its Exhaust Pipe?
Kindly stranger: Where do you want to go?
Lost couple: The Jersey Gardens outlet mall.
Kindly stranger: Do you want to take the bus?
–Port Authority Bus Terminal
Overheard by: Tim
Either Way, We're Talking About Small Leather Goods, Right?
Elderly lady #1, window shopping: What did you do with all your Gucci stuff?
Elderly lady #2: Coochie stuff? Why would I have coochie stuff?
Elderly lady #1: No, Gloria, I said “Gucci!”
–60th St b/w Madison & Park Ave
Overheard by: Emily