Archive for the ‘Show business’ Category

She Should've Asked “How Many Gentlemen Have Been Hurt by a Man Dressed As a Lady?”

Teenage boy: So I went to a Cher concert…
Teenage girl: What?
Teenage boy: Cher.
Teenage girl: Cher?
Teenage boy: Cher. The singer.
Teenage girl: Who?
Teenage boy: You don't know Cher? Damn, girl, you have no history. You have no childhood. (pause) So I went to a Cher concert. And she came out and looked all hot. “How many of you ladies have been hurt by a man?” (imitates the roar of the crowd) “Aaaaaaahhhh!” She cock-blocked the whole place.

–6 Train

Wednesday One-Liners– What the Fudge?

Professor, to deaf student's interpreter: Do you deal with "fuck" and "shit" and all that?

–Pratt Institute

Mother to bickering daughters: Let me tell you something: you two bags are the only motherfuckers I got left!

–21st St & 35th Ave, Astoria

Overheard by: Daniel Boris Dzula

Young woman in burqa on cell: And Jesus Christ! What the fuck was that bitch thinking?

–Brooklyn

Overheard by: ABrooklynBaby'sNanny

Girl on cell: And he said, "I am trying to learn here!" and I said, "fuck you!"

–112 & Broadway

Overheard by: Nathan

Hobo: I was in Nantucket when I lost my bucket! Then I said, "fuck it!"

–Union Square

Overheard by: Stacy

Woman crying to friend: I don't want to do the fucking SAG Awards!

–Bryant Park

Goin’ to the Chapel and We’re Gonna Get Wednesday One-Liners

Big bald guy: No, no, you don’t have to be ordained to marry people at the show. Just put on the Pope robe if you want to marry people.

–Office Building, Hudson St

Guy: I took your advice, bro. I’m gonna marry her in a little over three weeks. But… I gotta get drunk first.

–Houston & Broadway

Overheard by: erin

Suit #1 to suit #2: Well, maybe she won’t sign the pre-nup and then you’ll be free.

–Wall Street

Black chick: No! No! Ain’t no one gettin’ lynched at my wedding!

–Food Dimensions, Myrtle & Broadway

Overheard by: off white

Woman on cell: The only time he gets to be himself is when he goes away and that’s the way he saves the marriage… Otherwise it’s "Mommy, I don’t feel well’ and ‘Mommy, may I be excused from the table."

–23rd St & 5th Ave

Overheard by: Mugsy’s Moll

Goth chick on phone: He proposed to me while he was in me… Yea, well, I mean he told me after that he really meant it!

–Penn Station

That’s Kind of Implied for Guys

Girl #1: …so we are at this audition and they ask us to step out and say what we like to do in our spare time. So this guy steps out and says “discussing philosophy”. I mean, how pretentious can you get?
Girl #2: Well, what did you expect him to say? “Getting my dick sucked by total strangers”? –68th & Amsterdam Overheard by: Betty Noir