Husky male employee, singing along to radio in high pitch voice: “I'm looking at the man in the mirror…”
Female employee passing by: Sing it!
Husky male employee: I'm trying!
–K-Mart, Penn Station
Overheard by: erkala
Archive for the ‘Singing’ Category
…But at Least It Uses the Subjunctive Correctly, Right?
Stoned middle-aged ghetto thug #1: “If I were a boy…” Who sings that?
Stoned middle-aged ghetto thug #2: Think it's Beyonce.
Stoned middle-aged ghetto thug #1: That has a negative connotation, it should be: “if I were a girl…”
–Uptown 6 Train
She Should've Asked “How Many Gentlemen Have Been Hurt by a Man Dressed As a Lady?”
Teenage boy: So I went to a Cher concert…
Teenage girl: What?
Teenage boy: Cher.
Teenage girl: Cher?
Teenage boy: Cher. The singer.
Teenage girl: Who?
Teenage boy: You don't know Cher? Damn, girl, you have no history. You have no childhood. (pause) So I went to a Cher concert. And she came out and looked all hot. “How many of you ladies have been hurt by a man?” (imitates the roar of the crowd) “Aaaaaaahhhh!” She cock-blocked the whole place.
–6 Train
That's a Pretty Raw Image, Johnny.
Woman: Did you see Lady Gaga when she wore that meat costume?
Man: That's one crazy bitch. I'd tenderloin the shit out of her.
–Outside Toys-R-Us, Time Square
Overheard by: Damien
Hard Enough Sitting Still for One
Woman, about couple filing in for orchestra seat: What are those people doing?
Man: They're standing.
Woman: Oh, I wouldn't stand for an opera.
–Standing Room, Metropolitan Opera
Overheard by: Cheryl
The Brontë Sisters Always Have Fun in New York
Drunk blonde woman #1, rapping: I'm right up in your grill!
Drunk blonde woman #2: It's a motherfuckin' thrill!
Drunk blonde woman #1: We wanna eat your flesh!
Drunk blonde woman #2: Our rhymes are really fresh!
Drunk blonde woman #1: We get into your shopping bag! We get into your purse! (pause) I don't know what the fuck I'm talking about!
Drunk blonde woman #2: It might just be a curse!
–7 Train
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Teach Me, Bobby! Teach Me!
Six-year-old boy: You know that song “Let's Get It Started”? It's by the same group that sings your favorite song “Boom Boom Pow.”
Eight-year-old boy: The Black Eyed Peas?
Six-year-old boy: Yeah! They came out with “Let's Get It Started” way back in the day… Before they changed their sound.
–Cosi
Wednesday Funbag-Liners
Teenage girl: Ohmigod. Doesn't she know that the "having big boobs" thing is, like, not in anymore?
–86th St
Overheard by: Kevin
Girl to another: It splashed on my boob… Then he slurped it off!
–Charles & 4th
Overheard by: Eric
20-something guy, singing: I wanna touch some boobs. I wanna touch some boobs. I wanna touch some boobs. I wanna find my motherfucking sock, 'cause I don't know where it is. I wanna touch some boobs…
–Pratt Institute
Angry hobo to college chick with big boobs zipping up her jacket: Don't put them titties away!
–5th & 21st
Elderly woman to husband: I keep my business in my bosom!
–Carnegie Deli
I Mean, Who Wouldn't Want to Be Abused by Mo'Nique?
Guy in orchestra, after Kristin Chenoweth has sang “I say a little prayer for you”, right before applause: You go, girl!
Guy in balcony: What did he say?
Guy's friend: “You go, girl” (rolls eyes) She's not Mo'nique in Precious.
–Broadway Theatre
Overheard by: They're both awesome
Wednesday One-Liners Make Beautiful Music Together
20-something girl: I feel sorta guilty for illegally downloading "We Are the World." What's that Haiti number? I should text them some money to clear my conscience.
–LIRR
Middle aged guy to female colleague: It's really good and all, but it's only after listening to the lyrics that I got a little worried. I mean all she kept saying was "I want your disease, I want your disease." What is that?
–6 Train
Overheard by: Kishan
FedEx guy: I'm looking for Phil Harmonic. He needs to sign for this.
–Avery Fisher Hall, Lincoln Center Plaza
Overheard by: Rob
Loud Angelina Jolie wannabe watching band: I love this band, their music is like making love… Am I right?
–Terminal 5
Overheard by: Dani Cakes
Guy with guitar to naive teens: Yeah, music is the only way we can fight our oppressive, totalitarian government.
–City College
Overheard by: Stephen