Drunken skinny pretty girl: Why is she so mean? I mean I'm a skinny pretty girl. She should not be mean to me!
–Halloween Party, Tribeca
Drunken hobo to girl leaving Sephora: Let me tell ya how to look beautiful. Fill ya buckets with money. Bucketfulla money makes ya look beautiful.
–17th St
Overheard by: Lillian
Voice on loudspeaker: Last call for pretty man. Last call to board for pretty man.
–LaGuardia Airport
Overheard by: Jen
60-something woman to tenor, after La Traviata: Finally, an Alfredo who is good-looking!
–Stage Door, Metropolitan Opera
Hobo: I was voted best-looking bum by bum weekly 1996.
–45th & 3rd
Archive for the ‘Singing’ Category
Wednesday One-Liners Are a Social Construct
Angry construction worker to befuddled construction worker: Don't look at me like that! Don't say that to me! Go home and fuck my wife, asshole!
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Jumana
Construction working to another: Man, I need to get me a bi girlfriend. She'd be lovin' me, and I'd be lovin' her friends.
–Columbus Circle
Overheard by: Rich R.
Construction worker, singing: If there's a skeeter on your Peter/whack it off! (claps twice)
–Waverly Place & 5th Ave
Overheard by: steph
Tough construction worker, unloading van: Yo, I was up til like 2 am watchin' Scooby Doo Where Are You!
–Humboldt & Withers
Overheard by: francesca
Construction worker, staring up at construction skyscraper: It's all twisted. It's going to come down.
–Williams St
Overheard by: Sonya
Simon Cowell: Your Wednesday One-Liner Was Just Horrible!
Crazy man, singing in deep tenor voice: Meow! Meowwwwwwww! Meowwwww! Meowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!
–Cooper Square
Overheard by: Bruce Lee
White woman, singing: That's the way/uh-huh/uh-huh/I like it! Brrr! Cock-a-doodle-do!
–23rd St
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Thug, quietly to friends: Daaaamn, yo! I just wanta teabag that ho! (starts singing loudly) Come back girl, I juss wanta teabag, o, I juss wanta teabag yo ass!
–Outside Tech College, 31st & 10th
Woman in bathroom stall, singing operatically: I don't have a care in the world! (sneezes) Oh my god! Damn it!
–Actor's Equity Building
Overheard by: Natalie
Boy, singing: Vagiiiiiiinas… They're eeeeverywhere, vagiiiiiinas…
–Bard High School, Queens
Overheard by: Sunny
Hobo, singing: I don't neeeeed no money! (pause) Well, that's not exactly true, that's just the words to the song.
–4 Train
Overheard by: Chris K.
Are Your Editors Painfully Uncool for Not Knowing Who That Was?
Girl with coach bag: It's like the Beatles are here (motions with hand) and Flo Rida is here (motions with hand two feet higher)
Asian boy: (stares)
Girl with coach bag: Musical genius!
–St. Mark's Place
Groupies Are Born, Not Made.
Five-year-old girl #1, seriously: You know we're gonna need a drummer if we wanna sound awesome.
Five-year-old girl #2, enthusiastically: Yeah! Boom boom boom boom boom!
–Inwood Hill Park
Overheard by: Joshy Sweetpants
Wednesday Puts on Its One-Liners One Leg at a Time
Ghetto dude on phone: Do you know what I could do with that money? I could get a new pair of pants… or maybe get my hair done.
–Broadway & 86th St
Girl to another: I had this teacher in high school who wore the tightest pants. Camel toe all the time.
–Union Square
Overheard by: Giancarlo
Annoying sober 20-something, returning from bathroom: God! I'm so sweaty, it made it really hard to pull my pants down.
–Diner, 3rd Ave
Teenage girl to another: He came here to do a concert. He probably doesn't want to hear you scream, "Take your pants off!"
–Battery Park
…Wait– What?
Bike messenger #1: But we shouldn't write songs about New York bike messengers.
Bike messenger #2: Yeah, yeah, I get ya.
Bike messenger #1: We're not going to get anywhere with an audience of New York bike messengers.
Bike messenger #2: Yeah, yeah, I totally understand.
Bike messenger #1: We should write songs about fucking people… People who… People who aren't fucking paying attention to what's going on around them.
Bike messenger #2: Yeah, yeah, I totally get that.
–Staten Island Ferry
White People Will Not Let Reggae Die
Woman #1, watching drunks sing Redemption Song: What do you think these guys do for a living?
Woman #2: Whatever it is, they're not happy about it.
–Broome St.
Overheard by: Emily B.
How Some Men Audition Their Fag Hags.
Man: Hello.
Woman: We meet again!
Man: Yes, we do. (singing) The sun'll come out/tomorrow/bet your bottom dollar…
–Fordham University
Tragically Hip Wednesday One-Liners
Hipster girl to friend: I told her it was the wrong kind of plaid. Not all flannels are equal.
–Bowery & Bleecker
Overheard by: but lumberjacks are supposed to be burly men!
Hipster to another: And I was like "Do you want some nail polish for that camel toe?"
–2nd Ave
Overheard by: Shan
Hipster guy singing to self in country twang: Whennnn am I gonna get me sommmme Ugg boooooots?
–4th Ave & 13th St
Hipster guy in eyeliner and mascara: I was being facetious… I would not wear leggings.
–Jamba Juice, 13th St & University
Overheard by: helenathegreat
Hipster girl screaming on cell: I want you to want me to want to touch you!
–Columbus Circle