Girls on bench: Is US weekly magazine, like, the only one that's true?
–Central Park
Man on cell, crossing street: And I told that Jewish cunt that everything she's heard about black men is true, and I'm gonna stick my foot in her fucking mouth.
–46th St & Madison Ave
Bum conversing with Bible-toting teens: Yes, it's in the Bible… But is it true?
–Union Square
Skater boy: Most things aren't true.
–72nd St & Amsterdam
Archive for the ‘Skaters’ Category
…In the True Spirit Of Easter.
Teen skater #1: Dude, I wanted to chill on Easter but my mom said I had to go to church.
Teen skater #2: You should've said “mom, fuck church!”
Teen skater #1: Dude, if I had said “fuck,” I wouldn't be alive. I would've been under the couch. My mama would've stuffed me in a bag… Put some incense on that shit so it wouldn't smell.
–6 Train
Overheard by: trying not to laugh
…And My Dealer Always Gives Me an A+
Loud student, looking at intricate homework assignment on projector: Who has the time to do that, seriously?!
Skater dude #1, muttering: Shit, I have the time to do that, I just spend it getting fucked up.
Skater dude #2: Shit man, we all do!
–School of Visual Arts
Overheard by: art school has bros too
Now What If You're Looking at an Apple Pie?
Man preaching from bible: If you look at a woman that's not your wife and want to have sex with her, that's fornication!
Skater kid: Damn straight!
–Union Square
Unless Somebody Dares Us
Woman to teen skater punks splashing in fountain: You know there's birdshit in that, right?
Lead teen skater punk: We're not drinking it!
–55th St Water Fountain
Overheard by: A little purel never hurt
Wednesday One-Liners Would Like to Thank the Academy
Girl to a friend: I was piss drunk when I saw The Passion Of The Christ.
–Chelsea
Skateboarding juvenile delinquent to crew: We are totally like the movie Kids, all that's left is for me to get Aids.
–Mott & Prince
Overheard by: Dirty needle or gay sex, your choice
Suit to another: The soundtrack to Big Top Pee-wee was amazing.
–St. Mark's Place
Seven-year-old Asian boy to mother, during the movie Up: He loved and he lost…
–Regal Union Square Theater
Crazy 30-something man: Excuse me! You probably think I'm looking for money. I'm not. But I'm looking for a companion! A girl, aged 18 to 25, and she must have a DVD player, so we can watch movies!
–1 Train
Overheard by: nella
Vegetarians Won't Eat Anything with a Wednesday One-Liner
(man standing on bus gets a little too close to the man sitting in front of him)
Sitting man: Wrong person, right day. Son, do not put your genitals in my face!
–M101 Bus
(skateboarder tries to do a trick on the curb and flies face-first onto pavement)
Skateboarding friend, checking on him: Dude! His face looks like a clitoris!
–Union Square
Overheard by: I Looked Away
Crazy man to another: What the fuck's the matter with your face, man? You look like a fuckin' Rottweiler! Shit!
–Q Train
Creepy doorman to male tourist: If you wake up in the morning with a bush in front of your face, don't ask any questions.
–30 Rock
Overheard by: MusicMagGirl
Wednesday and the World One-Liners With You, Cry and You Cry Alone
Girl, loudly and enthusiastically: Everything I say is a joke!
–City Bakery, 18th St
Girl to guy: What's so funny? Did you fart?
–W 96th & Broadway
Overheard by: Megan W.
Santa, chasing scared teen: Do you think it's funny to throw things at people's heads? How about I break your face?
–42nd St
Girl: I'm really excited that, like, within our lifetime, there are gonna be funny movies about Obama.
–Manhattan Theatre Source
Overheard by: Emily B.
Laughing girl on phone: Come on, please! Please! Just take off your clothes and take pictures! (pause) Come on, mom, it would be so funny!
–Union Square
20-something skater guy to another: And then I started whackin' off, and it was hilarious.
–Broadway & E 10th St
Overheard by: Timothy
They Make Me Mad Horny!
Thuggy white girl: I don't know why she complaining so much, I mean, they don't hurt that bad.
Skater chick: She just bein' a drama queen.
Thuggy white girl: I know! I mean…everybody got crabs.
–E 9th St & 2nd Ave
What Some Kids Take Away from the Museum Of Natural History
Skater boy: (horrible screeching dinosaur-like scream)
Crowd of skater boy's friends: Pterodactyl orgasm!
–Union Square