Girl, loudly and enthusiastically: Everything I say is a joke! –City Bakery, 18th St Girl to guy: What's so funny? Did you fart? –W 96th & Broadway Overheard by: Megan W. Santa, chasing scared teen: Do you think it's funny to throw things at people's heads? How about I break your face? –42nd St Girl: I'm really excited that, like, within our lifetime, there are gonna be funny movies about Obama. –Manhattan Theatre Source Overheard by: Emily B. Laughing girl on phone: Come on, please! Please! Just take off your clothes and take pictures! (pause) Come on, mom, it would be so funny! –Union Square 20-something skater guy to another: And then I started whackin' off, and it was hilarious. –Broadway & E 10th St Overheard by: Timothy
Thuggy white girl: I don't know why she complaining so much, I mean, they don't hurt that bad.
Skater chick: She just bein' a drama queen.
Thuggy white girl: I know! I mean…everybody got crabs. –E 9th St & 2nd Ave
Skater boy: (horrible screeching dinosaur-like scream)
Crowd of skater boy's friends: Pterodactyl orgasm! –Union Square
Skater: Come on. Hang out.
Murray Hill-looking PR-type chick: Fuck you! You're a fag! You'd rather hang with your loser friends in this fucking rat hole? I would have fucked you, if you just came to Manhattan but…
Skater: C'mon hang. It'll be cool.
Murray Hill-looking PR-type chick: Oh, fuck this. I'm taking this cab. Have fun sucking your buddy's cock, asshole!
Skater, after watching her leave: Fucking bitch! (pauses, then asks perfect stranger) Hey, can I buy a cigarette from you? –12th St & Bedford
13-year-old skateboarder to friends: Suck my dick!
Friend #1: I like you, you're my friend, and I'll invite you to my birthday party, but I won't suck your dick.
Friend #2: You provoke me with your boner. –A Train Overheard by: devon
Skater #1: A Stephen Colbert and Jon Stewart ticket would totally win the presidency, on popularity alone.
Skater #2: Jon Stewart is really smart… He's like as smart as…he's as smart as me. –N Train
Skater kid: Where's my tongue? –Central Park Overheard by: Toast Guy on bus (shouting from the back of the bus): Driver, you know this bus is not gentle on those who have testicles. I mean there's all these bumps and everything's jumping around. –B12 Bus Butch lesbian yelling into phone: How do you think I found out my thyroid wasn't working? –M14D Bus Old guy to pretty girl: You have some nice legs. You should be doing stocking commercials. Anyone ever tell you that? (now to himself) Oh, the woes of racism have plagued us from Egyptian times! –R Train Stock floor guy on cell: Every time we think this thing is coming to a head, there's another head…how many heads does this thing have? –Wall St & Broadway Overheard by: Michael Woman on cell: The best place for your thighs is around my neck. Yes it is. Yes it is. Yes it is. Yes it is. –58th & Columbus Circle
Skater boy: I love Jennifer Aniston! I would fuck her and then leave her! –Uptown 1 Train Overheard by: Laura Grad student: I've been analyzing my love life from a symbolic interactionist perspective… –Amsterdam Cafe Overheard by: Ladle Guy on cell: I love you…(defensively) Yes I do! –Columbus Circle Loud guy: You know what? Sometimes you've got to catch a few venereal diseases to find true love. –Yankee Stadium Overheard by: Kelsey Man on cell: Then I thought that if I asked her out she would think that I think that she thinks that I think that she loves me. –59th St & 8th Ave Black girl behind the counter (after receiving a few text messages and calls): Why is everyone harassing me today? (sighs) I feel loved. –Coldstone Creamery Overheard by: Eli Bus driver on loudspeaker: This bus is beautiful. We care about one another, we share our experiences, our dreams and aspirations. I love each and every one of y'all. So…that's what this is. –X30 Bus Overheard by: i just like him as a friend…
Bimbette: So yesterday he called me to tell me that he’s going to beat my ass, and then he calls me today to ask if he can use my CD player. –Staten Island Mall Overheard by: Robert Seven-year-old girl: She better watch herself before I pimp slap her. –Amsterdam Projects Girl, to rest of her punk skater group: But I be like: "Bitch, I don’t skate… I just beat bitches with it." –Astor Place & Broadway Overheard by: Jynx Lady on cell: Is someone else going to smack you? –1 Train Overheard by: Krisztina Man on cell: What… You flubbed what? Listen dude, I’m in midtown, but it’s too far a cab ride to come beat a grown man’s ass. –W Hotel, 49th & Lex Overheard by: Miami Hitman Bus driver to angry man: You want a piece of this? There are 26 places on the body that can kill you instantly. I can hit 4 in one shot. You wanna dance?! –M16 Bus Overheard by: nora!
Skater dude #1: I am mad smart, yo. My parents won’t even tell me my IQ. It’s so high they’re afraid to.
Skater dude #2: I seriously doubt that, man.
Skater dude #1: No, my sister’s way smart. She’s getting her Master’s degree, and my parents told me mine was higher than hers.
Skater dude #2: Dude, she could be smart but you could totally not be. It skips a generation.
Skater dude #1: Not in my family it doesn’t. –3rd St & 1st Ave Overheard by: eiaboca