Archive for the ‘Skinny People’ Category

“Pretty Wednesday One-Liner, Walkin' Down the Street…”

Drunken skinny pretty girl: Why is she so mean? I mean I'm a skinny pretty girl. She should not be mean to me!

–Halloween Party, Tribeca

Drunken hobo to girl leaving Sephora: Let me tell ya how to look beautiful. Fill ya buckets with money. Bucketfulla money makes ya look beautiful.

–17th St

Overheard by: Lillian

Voice on loudspeaker: Last call for pretty man. Last call to board for pretty man.

–LaGuardia Airport

Overheard by: Jen

60-something woman to tenor, after La Traviata: Finally, an Alfredo who is good-looking!

–Stage Door, Metropolitan Opera

Hobo: I was voted best-looking bum by bum weekly 1996.

–45th & 3rd

Wednesday One-Liners: Large and in Charge

Exhausted woman with backpack: Why do I have to be so fat?

–42nd St

Gossip Girl clone to another: Oh my god! Can you even imagine being obese in this weather?

–Lafayette & Spring

Skinny gangster white boy: Yo, dude, are we hanging out with those fat chicks?

–96th St & Lexington

Overheard by: great standards

Chubby girl yelling on cell: Yeah, and her bridesmaid dress totally accentuates my back fat–as if I didn't have enough problems!

–47th & 3rd

I'm Also a Black Belt in Tae Kwon Cookie-dough

Thin girl #1, in front of ice cream fridge: Oh no, I shouldn't get any. I'm fat enough already.
Thin girl #2: Bitch, do not say stupid shit like that. You look fine.
Thin girl #1: No, you don't get it! I only look skinny. I have no muscle definition at all, it's all fat. I'm marbled. It's a trick.
Thin girl #2: So you're like… A stealth fatty?
Thin girl #1: I'm a chub ninja. I walk amongst skinny people undetected.

–Whole Foods, Union Square

How Many Weight Watchers Points Are in a Wednesday One-Liner?

Average-sized woman on cell: He said "big boned." Yeah, "you're a big boned girl… Like your dad, kinda big boned." (pause) Yeah, so, I didn't really feel like eating much after that.

–Queens

Overheard by: bdlilrbt

Girl to friend: I always think I'm a thin person, but then I look into the mirror and realize I'm not.

–3rd & 13th

Super skinny Japanese girl: I brought my juice with me. Then I ordered dessert. But my juice just looked better than eating dessert.

–Downtown 1 Train

Overheard by: dignell

Middle aged women to friend: Yeah, we took her in for a few weeks. She was fine, but didn't eat much. But that's because she kind of has an eating disorder. (they burst out into a fit of laughter)

–F Train

Girl getting soda to friend: You know, it's the ice that makes you fat. I heard that somewhere.

–Cafeteria, Marymount Manhattan

Overheard by: Hannah