Archive for the ‘Skinny People’ Category

Wednesday's Great With One-Liners

Eight-year-old girl, singing: Fat lips, big lips, get your pregnant lips here! –6 Train Out-of-breath man on steps: Okay, man, breathe. Breathe like you're having your first child! –W4 Subway Overheard by: Keep Pushing On! Pregnant woman on cell: So, yeah, I'm about 5 centimeters dilated, so I'm going to get a Tasti D-Lite and then go to the hospital. –Rockefeller Center Hot skinny, Asian girl to hot, skinny, blonde friends: So, am I going to get pregnant this month or what? –57th & Park Overheard by: would have liked to help her Girl on phone: Okay, so I got the pregnancy test and the vodka. We'll see which one wins. –6 Train

…And Guess What Else Is This Big?

Skinny twink #1: I know that guy.
Skinny twink #2: You know her, that guy from the chorus, the concert-soloist, that guy who blew you at Splash, and now him! That makes the fifth person you've seen that you know, in less than an hour.
Skinny twink #1: Well, New York is this big! (holds up little finger)
Skinny twink #2: And you're a whore. –Gay Restaurant, Hell's Kitchen Overheard by: Eugene

You Get a Little Something Extra with a Wednesday One-Liner Education

Female student on cell: We don't know anything until we know something. –Columbia University Balding middle aged man guiding middle aged woman down stairs: Step, step, step, step. Flat, flat, flat, flat. Step… –Columbia Yoga instructor to skinny college girl: Turn your head to the left. Turn your head to the left. The left. The left. The left. Your other left. I know you go to Columbia. –Bikram Yoga, Harlem Overcaffinated Columbia freshman girl to another: What do you mean your sociology textbook ate King Lear? –Carman Hall, Columbia University Overheard by: that would make it difficult to finish either reading

I Got Your Wednesday One-Liner– Swingin'

Skinny obnoxious blonde: Sheryl had a shirt that said "I love Wayne's dick." And I was like "Sheryl, why are you wearing that to the outback?" –AMC Movie Theater Girl to guy: Epic fail, you have a non-working dick. –2nd Ave & 9th St Guy on cell: Hello, this is sweet dick. Can I speak to tight pussy? –West Village Man to another: So last night, I was playing with my dick, and… –Times Square Overheard by: Dusty F. Man on cell: He don't answer to "Leon" no more. He is now "Dick Dastardly." –Union Square Overheard by: Muttley